~Antisocial Marshadow~

REBLOG RARE POSITIVE GORDON

ivuoyibhl cuovypbo;k vhgvi;obpupyiogukj

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

There is absolutely no justice in this. First of all why is he being tried as an adult?

basically the reasoning behind this bs is that he was an accessory to murder because he was involved in the robbery, which “caused” the officer to have to fire his gun. laiketh was offered 25 years if he plead guilty, 65 if he took it to trial. (long sentences like this are basically used to scare people into pleading guilty.) he decided to fight (because, you know, he didn’t actually shoot anyone) but he lost. it’s so sad and stupid.

fuck

Have you ever just randomly cried because you’ve been holding shit in for too long?

Every week

at least three times a week

I definitely read this wrong…I was gonna suggest more fiber in y'all diet

you CANNOT give another human being the responsibility of your happiness.

some days you’re just the squashed nutrigrain bar that exists at the bottom of every purse or bookbag

You’re right no matter what I look like I’m still a snack and people are always grateful when they realize I’m there thank you for the inspiration post

umm no u must be from like montana or somethin and have shitty pizza cause frozen pizza usually sux

You say “pizza is pizza” but the instant pineapple/mushrooms/something else gets involved, half of you folks will turn on us. Hypocrites! Traitors! Heretics!

@parks-and-rex excuse you? Pineapple on pizza is best pizza.

mmm the most Unrealistic part of spiderman: homecoming was peter parker having his phone’s volume up so high like uhhhh hate to break it to you marvel but no one under the age of 25 has had their phone on anything other than vibrate/silent since 2010

I actually have no idea what my ringtone is because my phone has never been off vibrate no lie