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@madpariahdog
This is my vent sideblog.
I'm 28 and I use they/them pronouns.
I have schizophrenia, C-PTSD, and anxiety. I have trauma from psychotic episodes and abuse, both from when I was a child and recently.
Feel free to reblog any of my posts.
Everything I post, I made, either with art I made or photographs I took, or with free-to-use images.
Anyone can follow.
I'd love to talk to you, but please only message me if you're an adult.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Get Out
I'm technically a prophet but the prophecies are presented to me in a language I can neither speak nor fundamentally fathom. so I just circle back to basically being normal
I think my embroidery skills are getting better
1, 15 and 30 for the psychosis ask meme
1) What was your first delusion?
Hm, I'm not sure! I had a lot of odd beliefs as a child, but I think to some degree that's normal? But I probably had more of those than most people...
But my first actual psychotic episode was when my roommate was possessed by a demon that tried to make them kill me.
15) Is there a situation you can laugh about now, which was scary at the time?
I can laugh about most of my episodes and delusions, I think? They're all a little absurd, from a certain perspective. Even if it's gallows humor.
30) What goes through your head when you see “Cute but Psycho”?
Mixed feelings, I guess. I kind of want to reclaim that phrase, but it kind of really bothers me, as does any use of the word "psycho" where it means "evil". I think it's kind of bizarre that people are apparently supposed to identify with that phrase? Like, I've seen it on shirts and buttons that people are apparently supposed to buy and wear? Who is that supposed to be for?
Thanks for asking! ^^
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Depression: Getting better is impossible.
Anxiety: Getting better is scary.
Schizophrenia: I'm not sick. There's nothing to get better from.
Eating Disorders: I don't want to get better. I want to be sick.
The bizarre cognitive dissonance of listening to your mom talk about the things she wanted to do to you when you were a kid and hearing everyone laugh because they think it's a joke and laughing along because nothing else is safe, but it's not a joke, and you're flashing back to when you were a kid and those threats were real and terrifying...
My therapist summed it up today as "your mother's abuse gave you a traumatic brain injury that left you disabled for life" which sounds absolutely insane, put like that. Even though I can't say it's at all inaccurate.
I don't know how I feel about this.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I never have delusions, reality just constantly changes in front of me and i gain new knowledge every day. i am not crazy but yes i have the entire universe inside me and my brain is bigger than yours, i cant explain it but im right.
Based on a conversation with @scarsmood
ENOUGH about being insane and evil what about those of us who are insane and nice. do we get some representation
Cursing and crying...
But getting it done.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Really stacking on the debuffs tonight. Drunk. Dissociating. Drugged.
He was here. It was fine. At the time. But I took the maximum dose of my anxiety meds to make it be fine.
Anyway. I'm doing really good.
I want a hug from my mom, but only the fantasy version of her that loves me.
(Fantasy isn't the right word. I can't even imagine her loving me.)
