uncomfortably cold and paranoid

My mom (72) recently downsized and moved close enough to me that checking on her in person regularly is not really out of my way, but when I was obvious about it she wouldn’t let me “stop-by” because she was, “fine”.

- ask for something they can actually help you with. Elders have skills. Mending? Advice about knitting, gardening, home repair, nevermind professional training?

-ask about their experiences. “I was reading about xyz event the other day & I would love to know what that time was like for you. Can we chat about it over tea?” Goes double for family history for relatives.

-“Someone gave me this [or, I ended up with extra] & I don’t need/want it, but I bet you have a use for it. Can I bring it over? I would hate for it to go to waste.”

I just need to make this absolutely clear. Not only is this idea absurd on the face of it, there is no theoretical basis for this at all. It spits in the face of everything we base our understanding of oppression, transphobia, and misogyny on, and is especially a direct attack on the ideas of intersectionality.

My question is, as a white fan, I don't really know when it's my place to speak up about whitewashing? Usually, I reblog/retweet/share posts written by other Black fans, but the fandom I'm in is from a very niche anime and is incredibly small, barely any popular at all in the West at large. The Black character is drawn so much paler than he is in the anime and it bothers me a lot. I want to avoid coming off as a white saviour, though, especially because I'm white while the artists who whitewash him are largely East Asian. I have always stopped supporting the artists who do whitwash him but I don't know if it's my place to call anyone out

It's always your place to speak up about whitewashing 👍🏾

To be clear- if you are informed enough, that is. If you don't know or aren't confident about what you're talking about, that's one thing. But whitewashing is probably the easiest form of fandom racism to point out. We can literally see when a character isn't as dark as they are in canon, or when their hair texture has been thinned, or their nose changed. We can TELL that the guy you drew is NOT the guy we're supposed to be seeing. I have a lesson about this in my pinned post!

Also, being a white savior is not "I'm speaking up when I see racism". That's not what that word means. Being a white savior is when you talk OVER Black people and people of color, as if you know more and better than them about their own experiences. It's treating us like we're children, like we're less intelligent, that we NEED you and your "wisdom". But both you and an East Asian artist are capable of antiblackness. Neither of you are the group in question. You don't have to be racist or condescending to them, but it is not racism or white saviorism to say "hey, this is whitewashing and that's not cool". Especially if there's no one else in the space saying anything, likely because they're afraid of rocking the boat.