it's magikal. haha get it bc my name is kal

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

weve decided not to move forward with you at this position because a meteor has hit our office and destroyed the whole shit big mode. we hope your job search goes well

Why does this have its own wikipedia page.

it means so much to me that rocky's lead puppeteer james ortiz got to voice him and got like. full billing right next to ryan gosling in the opening credits. and he's gotten to do interviews and red carpet appearances and talk about puppetry and it's all being taken so seriously just like he's any other type of actor. gonna make me cry fr. like they could have gotten some famous person to be rocky's voice to try and pull more star power but. they went with the guy who acted him. and like of course they did. like there he is. how could they do anything else. he's right there and he's perfect

clocking in for another day at the i dont wanna factory

hey there welcome to superpower school, where we teach you to use your dangerous superpowers in a school-like environment. here's your syllabus. as you can see, this class will consistent entirely of occasional world building lectures of no use to anyone who has actually lived in this world for more than a day, and unsupervised practical assignments that place your life and the lives of everyone near you at risk. also we have a tournament arc in around 50 chapters that will inevitably be rife with cheating and will be infiltrated by people who actually for real want to kill you. grading will be on a curve.

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

How were the schemes Were the schemes successful