The Starship Avoidance @macaqueyfreedom - Tumblr Blog

Every Website right now: Give us a scan of your driver's license or be banished. It's for safety.

Every Website for the last 10 years: Oopsies we had another massive data breach! Tee-hee!

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mlarayoukai-archive

having your own money is fucking dangerous because the only person stopping me from buying whatever I want is myself. and myself has bad judgment sometimes

#do not look at me and my cart full of 100$+ of gamer Supps even with my favored content creators code #MIND. YA. BIDNIS.#my bills are paid #my fridge has food #I have Been Responsible #now the crackhead 9 year old that runs this bitch gets to do its thing

coffee-without-anesthetics

forgive me father for i have opened a notification and read the message within to make the red dot go away and then forgot to reply for a month . it will happen again

bemusedlybespectacled

Do you have an Assigned Animal™ (including extinct or mythical ones) that dominates the gifts people give you/your decor/etc.?

Yes, I have an Assigned Animal™ (owls, koalas, unicorns, dinosaurs, etc.)

No, but I've been assigned something else (fandom, color, plant, etc.).

I have more than one Thing (ex: koalas AND purple AND cacti)

BB what the fuck are you talking about

Voting ended onApr 26

#Dragons #PINK #Wooly Cows #Teal #Purple #and Cookbooks #SO MANY GODSDAMNED COOKBOOKS #not that I’m complaining #I love my cookbook hoard #I literally have piles of cookbooks #fandom cookbooks #Internet Cooks and Bakers cookbooks #Dolly Partons cookbook #the jewels of my collection are my Stardew cookbook and Mass Effect cocktail cookbook #hmmmm…. does it still count as a cookbook if it’s just drinks? it does for me either way #ALSO HUGALUMPS #I love my stupid floppy weighted goose the most #it might actually be a duck idk

minusboy

become a premium member (my friend) today to unlock extra content (every thought i’ve ever had)

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prokopetz

So it turns out that fated rivals are a thing, but due to a bureaucratic error it was never specified that nemesis pairs have to be the same species; consequently, for most living humans, their fated rival is some kind of bug.

coughloop

hey mom wjat

coughloop

specialagentartemis

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

charlesoberonn

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

charlesoberonn

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

gropeable-boychest

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

charlesoberonn

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

charlesoberonn

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

ardinwriter

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

charlesoberonn

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

teaboot

”Why are you wearing an apron? Are you baking?” No I need the apron to activate Productive Housework Mode. Other accessories include Paisley Bandanna (+2 stamina) Chanclas (+4 defense) and Yellow Rubber Gloves (+2 initiative, +5 defense)

When I assemble the full set I go through a Super Sayan transformation and get to roll advantage on a primary action of my choosing

teaboot

like this

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ygosideblog

who keeps giving her these things

frommetrunui

super-saiyan-rose

she ends up condemned too D:

princesspornstar-deactivated201

damn bitch get it together

estrogenpatchnotes

megadethzenbu-deactivated202011

She’s a Darklord now too

ashestoashesjc

spdy4

This what my phone translates the last card to

ygosideblog

hey guys guess what

her old friends joined her

smooththegoofyshark

Good for them fuck shit up ladies

boobiemom

I wanna add those two girls’ names as cards, and they’re pretty great names.

Also they are 100% drawn to be placed at Condemned Darklord’s sides.

This is what peak polyamory looks like.

thetetrarchyofcassidy

Any girls wanna get corrupted together and then have hot gay sex maybe?

ygoheritageposts

Yu-Gi-Oh! Heritage Post

jeanritchie

its so awesome that you can straight up write fanfiction in your head to help yourself fall asleep and it doesnt even have to be good or something anyone would ever want to read. even yourself

sacred-portal

rat2rrj

Stance

uncertainlys

it will pass but like can i at least get an eta

otterpuppss

pickles endless hunger and greed

zoomed-in-rats

Let's get a zoom on the bottomless pit.

civresearcher

You can do it Pickles.

Every piece of cake is a personal piece of cake if you just try hard and believe in yourself.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

xamenh-sto-oneiro

Let me seduce u with my knowledge on useless things

bogleech

junk food is always better than no food

I’ve met people who will actually argue against this (and I suggest just blocking anyone who does) but if your choice is between going hungry and getting fast food or snack food….PLEASE JUST FEED YOURSELF. No food is actually bad enough that it’s better to skip eating entirely. Malnutrition is more dangerous, more immediately, and more long-term than any consequences of eating a damn twinkie or a cheeseburger.

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