I cannot emphasize enough that every single bit in this is true.
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@lysapadin
I cannot emphasize enough that every single bit in this is true.

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Lord Vetinari and the Incident With the Magical Ten-Year-Old Lizard Collector
Lord Vetinari and the Plot Against His Life Which Resulted in A Dragon Arrest
Lord Vetinari and the Plot Against His Life Which Resulted in A Permanent Injury, But, Like, the Kind that Happens to Brooding Badasses Where You At Least a Sword Cane Out Of ItÂ
Lord Vetinari and the Plot Against His Life (The One With the Candles)
Lord Vetinari, the Plot Against His Job, and The Obligatory Odd Couple Road Trip Novel, Feat. Leonard and Co.Â
Lord Vetinari and the Extremely Convoluted Plot Against His Life Which Involved a Doppelganger Segment and Probably Wouldnât Have Worked in Any Case But Which Still Upset Quite a Lot of People Himself IncludedÂ
Lord Vetinari and the Flashback Episode In Which He An Assassin Gets to Plot Against the Lives of Others for a Change
Lord Vetinari Goes to a Football Game With His Bestie and They Get Drunk
âIâve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what youâd look like on my table. Letâs start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they donât have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. Thatâs how it works. And thatâs very appealing too. Woman have cellulite. All of them. Itâs dimply and cute. Itâs not a defect. Itâs not a health problem. Itâs the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush. Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say â what, this is it? Theyâre kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because itâs unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or theyâll yelp. Adults sag. It doesnât matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I donât know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as youâre all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right? Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that âI can stop hanging on now, Iâm safeâ â a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and weâre easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: Iâm in it for the glow. Iâll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.â
â
What People Really Look Like
(via
jumbleofnotes
)
I needed to see this again tonight.
(via bocere)

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A demon/monster hunting show that's just 90% about smartass rules lawyering. Can only be killed by a silver bullet? How about a bullet train, does a bullet train count as a bullet? How much of that thing has to be silver for it to count as a silve bullet? "Cannot be killed by any force on this Earth" well get fucking space launched, idiot. It all boils down to seeing what does and does not count. Far, far less "first few seasons of Supernatural" and a lot more Mythbusters. Or hell, perhaps with some "will it blend?" also thrown in.
At one point they manage to kill a monster that "cannot be killed by a weapon forged by man" by running it over with a Honda Civic. There's someone on the scene to play Watson for us, asking the details of how did they manage that. Was it because a car doesn't count as a weapon? No, it does count as one if you intend to use it as one. Is it because a car has obviously not been forged by a blacksmith like a sword would be? Nah, that actually doesn't count.
Why, then, was it the "man/human" thing? Did they somehow find a Honda Civic built in a factory that is entirely operated by an all-female crew? Nah, not that either. But they did find a lesbian auto shop that could take the original car apart, and replace all the parts with different ones. They wanted to see if they can ship of theseus this whole thing and if it still counts as the same car, and turns out that it doesn't.
Mythbusters: Now With Real Myths
Disgust has absolutely no ethical weight. If you are basing your ethical positions on the emotion of disgust you should stop, it is entirely unjustified and leads to a huge amount of harm.
Word for today: wisdom of repugnance
The logical fallacy that because something disgusts you it must be bad
this is probably the funniest example of a tumblr user simply not reading the post theyre reblogging at all
so embarrassing when you finally get around to watching or reading some landmark piece of media well known for having a massive slash fandom and finding yourself completely drawn in by the homoeroticism as well like oh my god has anyone else heard of these kirk and spock guys? sam and frodo? sherlock and watson? anyone else seeing this?
when i clicked the link about lego partnering with crocs. i had some ideas of what that might look like. but i was not prepared. i was not prepared at all.

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Arches National Park, Utah photo: Elliot McGucken
on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldnât help feel like the OâConnells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The OâConnells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibinâ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time
Deceptive floofâŚ
(Source)
I want every ad on the subway to be this one. And then I want this also posted elsewhere. And then I want people who donât use earbuds or headphones while listening to music or watching their videos in public to have their phones explode in their hands and faces. Or they get shunned and banned from public spaces.

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my therapist said once "we get good at what we practice, so be careful what you practice" and tbh she was so right for that but also How Dare You??? open my eyes like that???
What if we win?
What if the children go to schools unafraid of tear gas and bullets?
What if the birds come back, and the bees are healed, and every species moves from endangered, to threatened, to thriving?
What if the rainforest ADVANCES?
What if every parking lot had solar panels? What if every structure had solar panels? What if we built climbing gyms and terraced gardens in the skeletons of old coal power plants?
What if you baked your neighbor bread, and they shared their home-grown blackberries?
What if every person who needed a home, had one? What if every person who needed healing was healed?
What if every body was treasured for what it was, not what it should be?
What if every trans child's parents attended their graduation, their wedding, their new-name-day?
What if every warehouse became a closed-circle repair station? Goods flowing out, and back, and out again? What if landfills started to SHRINK?
What if the water and air were clean? What if there was enough public transit that the cars dwindled, leaving the streets safe for kids on bikes, evening deer, midnight cats and foxes?
What if we win?
How would you win?
And we've won a lot already, mind you.
The condors are back. The whales are saved. The sea turtles are no longer endangered. The cranes are back. The bees are recovering. The air in LA and Tokyo and London is clean again. The aquifers in the LA Basin are refilling.
Children are kinder than previous generations. Parents are stopping the abuse cycle. Being trans and queer is more acceptable than ever on a ground level.
It's hard to see if you're young, if you don't know how to step back from social media and the news. But remember--bad news sells, and the algorithm knows despair keeps you scrolling. It's a skewed lens.
We are fighting and we are winning against this adminstration's bullying. We are coming together against the bullies and they are running away scared because they don't understand that we will do that.
People are working hard every day to find ways to make sure fewer animals get hit by cars and planes and rockets.
Maker spaces are more common than ever. Solar and wind are more common than ever. Coal plants are shutting down every day.
Unprecedented numbers of acres are being bought back or given back to their rightful stewards, and the world heals because of it. People are working hard every day to learn how to help a forest recover faster.
We are not at zero. We are at decades of effort to heal the world. We've come SO far.
In 1982 there were only 22 California Condors left in the world. In 1992, when the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS), with its public and private partners, began reintroducing captive-bred condors to the wild. In 2001 the first wild nesting occurred in Grand Canyon National Park since re-introduction. In 2002 there were only 8 pairs of wild nesting birds population-wide. In 2008, for the first time since the program began, more California condors were flying free in the wild than in captivity. Today there are nearly 500 â more than half of them flying free in Arizona, Utah, California, and Baja Mexico.
When I was born, there were no condors in the wild. I'm 37 now, and there are over 250 condors flying free.
When my mom was born in 1955, there were days when she wasn't allowed to go outside to play, because of the air pollution. When I was born, that never happened anymore.
When I was born, humpback whales were critically endangered, and people thought they were going to go extinct. Today, they've recovered to exceed their recorded numbers. Other whales too!
We fixed it.
We CAN fix it and we ARE fixing it and we DID fix it.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
It's still far from our reach.
But it's there.
Believing that things can get better is not blind hope or optimism--it is based on hard data that many things have consistently gotten better over the arc of history.
In addition to all that was mentioned above:
The likelihood of dying in infancy or childhood--or losing a child--has plummeted just in my lifetime. The likelihood of dying in a natural disaster is the lowest in recorded human history. Yes, even with the uptick in natural disaster intensity from climate change!
Humans alive right now are more likely to have access to healthcare, electricity, education, birth control, clean water, and nutritious food than at any other point in human history. There are so many diseases we can treat now that were a death sentence for 90% of human history.
This is not by accident. This is because generations of humans put in work to make life better for their communities.
Some of our solutions had the side effect of creating other problems--better access to electricity that ultimately made people's lives easier and safer led to pollution and climate change, for example--but we are tackling those knock on problems too. Our generation's solutions to our current problems will probably create their own less-bad side effects for the humans after us to deal with.
Is it silly and naive to believe we might actually be able to make things better? Not at all. We have many times before. We are doing it right now.