The Final Frontier

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

"app" is without a doubt one of the deepest evils of the human race. "hello. would you like to be expected to have a bespoke piece of software for every single Brand you might theoretically interact with in a day" <- statement dreamed up by someone who should be drawn and quartered

Don’t assume malice. Assume ignorance. Life is easier, the world is kinder, and you can educate. Actual malice is pretty rare, I find. 

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

This is a long text, read a summary! Save time! Time you can spend being productive instead, clicking and scrolling and feeding the machine chewing and spewing endless lies and a stream that gets ever simpler, ever shorter, and would you like to read the summary instead? Would you like to hear a recap so that you may know what to think? Would you like to have your emails written for you? Would like to have your work done for you? Simplify. Summarise. Be subsumed. Be productive. Your time is too valuable to spend it on thinking. Who needs thinking these days anyway. Let us summarise it for you. Let your brain rest. You don't need it.

Let us autofill this text for you. Let us select the option from the menu for you. You want more of this, don't you? Of course you do. It says so on the screen. We know you do. No need to think, just let us do it for you.

(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now

(me for a decade straight) okay today’s gonna be different

people who write fics. how do you feel about comments on super old ones you wrote like 2+ years ago

I commented on a fic that was 11 years old, and there was already a response by the time I got up the next morning. Comment on the fics, please, comment on them, I promise it'll make the author's day either way

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)