Love and Dust

i am EVIL!!! no I don't want to join your found family please go away,,

I'm literally pointing a death lazer at you

*sobs*

stop asking about my dad

You can really sense the tumblr userbase aging

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it

tramp stamp that says 'jesus wept'

I’m a Barbie girl trapped in the abandoned mine shafts

Just because your hat is tilted aside jauntily does not prove your superiority. My wizard hat is set neatly atop my head so that it is secure against strong breezes and someone condescendingly flicking the brim

I can tell that people condescendingly flicking your brim is a recurring issue for you.

noooooo don’t banish me from this realm i’m just a cute silly girl

Oh, yeah? Well, what if I disguised myself as a wretched old beggar-woman and came to beg for food at your royal feast and then invoked the laws of hospitality to beg a small favor from the king and when you said "If it is in my power to grant your request, it shall be granted" I unmasked myself and said "Ah-ha! I ask for your throne and your daughter's hand in marriage!"? What would you do then? You wouldn't do shit. You're devastated right now.

By Brigantia this can't be happening

you're just jealous because my vampirism gave me tapetum lucidum and yours didn't

Hold up I have to Google something

Okay, yeah I'm jealous

u dont like grilla ? 🦍? ough ough?

2022 wizard kissing world championships

shout out to every kind of curry dish ..... indian curry....thai curry.......japanese curry ... the kind with coconut milk and the kind without.......from the light yellow curry to the bodacious red to the rich brown ....... to the ones more soup like and the ones more gravy like.... to the ones with potatoes and to the ones with chickpeas.........this post is for you

so now the beautiful winged androgyne is going to cut me with a sword of fire? and beat me with a rod of embers? and break me over a thousand-spoked wheel? and boil me in the fat of lambs and suckling calves? hmm? fucking typical.