Memento Mori

I don't have tiktok, but why did I subject myself listening about (in)famous books from booktok and traumatizing myself? 🤣

Yknow those craze about romance book on booktok but most of them are quite disturbing. I'm more lenient if it's fantasy, but the one which set in modern setting is crazy... e.g : Ana Huang's Twisted series, any Colleen Hoover book, Credence by Penelope Douglas (I can't finish listening to the summary of this one cuz it's THAT disturbing for me), etc

those books are depicting even glorifying abusive, toxic relationship and all issues always magically solved and all toxic traits n red flags are justified on those books cause the characters are ✨️ traumatized and damaged✨️ like come on 🤌

most of them are actually just smut if I'm being honest with little to no substance from plots. I don't read the books myself but listening to the summary n review is enough for me 🙈

I'm sorry I just need to let it out. I'm questioning about what modern literature has became for these books getting all the attention and wonder why are these ppl publish these books, don't they know wattpad? 🤔

I feel like I wouldn't be as concerned had they stay in their lane within wattpad and fanfic realm, but the fact that it's getting the mainstream blast... 😱

ngl, it is entertaining, the type of it's so bad so good, I'm laughing n giggling from the cringe but also kinda concerned. I know these books are for more goofy read, like when you just wanna read without using braincells, but also the accessible of it made me concerned that these books would be what younger generations read and affecting their views on relationships. But maybe it's just me again thinking about unnecessary things 🙃

Not me, feeling unwell the whole day that I have to take a day off of work and I just want some soft comfort fic only to see the whole ass streaming dramas here too. I guess, avoiding twt and wv isn't enough 😅

I must say tho, I don't see the point of having those big views if you don't genuinely enjoy their music. I'm pretty sure the boys would prefer us giving them views that we mean not some massive streaming for the sake of numbers. 🤷‍♀️

And what if I have responsibilities to attend in real life and I have no time n energy to stream? I'm struggling enough to survive a day, I have full time job, and I have to attend to my own basic needs too. I already have enough on my plate and I can't stream. Does that make me any less of carat? Does that mean I don't appreciate them enough? For Christ's sake. Grow up! If you have the time and want to do crazy streaming, good for you. But that doesn't give you the right to force people who can't. We're all carats and I thought we're like peaceful fandom? But the past years with this whole streaming things truly ruined it for me a bit. I love seventeen, still very much do, but this kind of guilt tripping without knowing what's going on in people's lives truly is really not cute.

I just need to get this off my chest cause I feel like sometimes even fellow fans can be toxic to one another. It just occurred to me that sometimes when I had no idea where a pic of certain member is from or which video which meme came from, when I asked in social media, the tone of the answer made me felt like they’re looking down on me. I think this doesn’t apply only to K-Pop fandom, but everything in general. Perhaps I was being sensitive, but it didn’t sit well with me when someone treated me as if I don’t deserve to be a fan because I don’t know which pic or meme came from which show, photoshoots, or videos. Like there are tons of things that have been released, there’s no way for me to remember everything. Bruh, I don’t even remember what I did this morning, let alone every single detail of every single releases by seventeen. I have been following their journey from pre-debut, though I only officially joined the fandom last year, it kinda made me felt dumbfounded when someone treated me as if I’m a baby carat who just found out about seventeen yesterday just because I don’t know where a certain pic came from. I’m not offended per se, I just can’t comprehend the situation and found it incredibly shocking. Like don’t people have life? How can someone remember EVERY SINGLE THING? And the ugliest part is that it trigger my own overthinking self and made me questioned myself whether I deserve to be their fan or not (because I don’t know much about them like the other fans, though if I’m being honest I don’t think any carats know anything at all about them as in their personal life n the real them). Not to mention when there are awards going on and we have to vote, then someone would comment on my posts, usually on wv, and like telling people to vote. Honey, I’m an adult with full-time job, crippling with anxiety and depression, barely surviving life, I already had a lot, so while I do love Seventeen with all my heart, I don’t always have the time, capability, and energy to vote or stream. And to me, when someone did that, again, it made me felt guilty and questioning myself again. It truly felt like guilt tripping in a way. It made me felt really awful for something that let’s be real, not really that much of a big deal in adults life. To people who are struggling like me, or anyone really, it’s okay to have priority, prioritizing yourself over things like this, that doesn’t make you any less of a fan. And the point of all this is for us to enjoy and be happy. If being a fan tortured you instead, then it might be better to stay away. Personally for me now, I don’t interact or post much on social media, other than here. Especially for twitter, I just can’t handle the toxicity there, so I usually go over there only to look at pictures and memes but never interact. While wv, I only interact with the boys and post when it’s like their birthday. I’m sorry but I don’t have that much energy and time to deal with everyone and if you think that means I don’t cut to be a carat, that’s your opinion and it doesn’t concern me.

PS : I don't mean to say that caratland is toxic. No. Tbh carats are like the nicer healthy fandom, but that doesn’t mean there aren't people like that. I guess it's inevitable. No matter where you go, you bound to meet toxic person anyway. I hope I don't offend anyone with my rant. Here's pouty Coups to make your day better 😁

Honestly, at this point they should truly postpone caratland. Not only for the boys' sake but for carats as well. Yes, it'll be in an outdoor space with limited amount of people, but still, with the amount of members infected as of now, the risks are too high imo. And most importantly, the boys need to rest. Like they've been so busy and I'm happy for that. But still for me personally, what's important is their well-being before anything else. I'm kinda upset rn if I gotta be honest.

This kinda broke my heart. I’ve never been their biggest fan, but back in the day I truly adore Pledis family a lot. I saw them from predebut, when Seventeen wasn’t Seventeen yet. It was back in the day when they planned to debut Nu’est and Tempest, when After School and Son Dambi were all striving. I’m really grateful to Nu’est for being the first boy group in Pledis and helped paving the path for Seventeen as well. I know there’s only limited information we as fans can get, so am not gonna judge anything about their decisions. I just wish for all the best for all of them. I hope they’ll stay happy, healthy, and successful.

Is it just me or this song is such a great song to start your day with and it gives you a lot of energy n get your spirit up? Like it truly put me into a good mood n gives me a good energy to start my day. Not to mention that DK gave the comfort that I needed to end ny day last night. His Latenight Bookstore vlive us truly soothing and helped me relax. 😌

Am I the only one to be concerned regarding the boys for the upcoming Caratland?

When I saw the announcement, I felt really torn about it. Because it was announced on 17th and at the time, Wonu has yet to be fully recovered. We got the announcement about his recovery the next day.

While I am very aware that maybe we just gotta live side by side with Ms. Rona at this point, I’m also concerned if it’s okay for them to be having an offline fanmeeting in this condition? I just read a news today that the infection in South Korea per day is about 70,000 people. And 60% of people there are vaccinated 3 times.

As excited as I am to see them, I’m also concerned about everyone’s safety. I might sound like a worrywart, but Wonwoo has just recovered and he got back to work full force soon after? I’m sure they’re busy with their schedules and prep for Caratland rn. Also they're having a full album comeback in June, that means they're also busy preparing that. I know they love what they’re doing, but I feel like they also need some rest too? They’re not robots after all.

First thing first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LEE CHAN! I wish nothing but the best for him n the rest of seventeen! 🙏

Life has a really crooked sense of humor. They suddenly took away someone who still got so much to offer in their lives, and yet they just kept someone who had had enough of this world alive no matter how much they try to end it..

It feels like the universe want to remind me how volatile life can be. Someone you know back from uni who has their life together, can suddenly leave you without notice. No, they were not my closest friend, it was like they're a group of 3 who always went everywhere together, and my circle was consisted of 4 people. We just happened to share some classes together and both of our groups went along well. It feels like it was just yesterday when I saw them posting about going on a trip together, one of them got married, and now, their group was down to 2. It's hard to believe even for me. It must've been even harder for the two. This is like a slap on my face to treasure the connection I have. It made me want to reconnect with those group of friends of mine.