#toxic workplace

- Gloria Steinem

I left a toxic workplace, I did my best to insulate junior staff but I couldn't keep doing it.

If I can't "bad talk" an employer, how do I handle the "why did you leave your last role?" Question?

"It wasn't a good fit."

"I disagreed with the direction of the board."

"I outgrew the position."

These are all corporate-ese for "it was a shitty company and I hated it there." Good luck, honey. You got this!

Season 3, Episode 12: "I’m Done With Evil Bosses and Toxic Workplaces. Can I Stand Up Without Being Hammered Down?" 

Oh hey that's....that's really really fucked up actually.

I did unfortunately see what was said this morning, and while I cannot claim I was entirely surprised after the way season 5 ended and after years of increasingly questionable interviews, contradictions, and dismissive attitudes toward both the audience and the characters themselves, I still found it deeply uncomfortable to witness.

That being said, I also think it is important to approach these situations with nuance and caution rather than absolute certainty, because none of us truly know what happens behind closed doors. We only perceive fragments, tones, patterns, silences, and contradictions. However, sometimes those fragments are enough to reveal that something within a creative environment feels emotionally unhealthy or deeply unbalanced.

And honestly, for years now, I have felt an unsettling power dynamic surrounding the way they spoke about Will and Noah specifically.

Not necessarily in the simplistic sense of “they hated him,” but in the far more insidious way certain adults in positions of authority can grow possessive over young actors they helped shape professionally. The entertainment industry has historically blurred the line between mentorship, control, loyalty, gratitude, and emotional dependency, especially when child actors are involved. There is often an unspoken expectation of obedience attached to success: “Your career exists because of us, therefore you owe us trust, loyalty, silence, and compliance.”

And psychologically, that kind of dynamic can become extremely complicated for someone who has grown up under it since childhood.

What personally stands out to me is not merely the treatment of Will as a character, but the apparent irritation that emerged whenever Noah seemed emotionally invested in the narrative logic of his own role. Noah consistently came across as someone who deeply cared about storytelling, emotional coherence, symbolism, and character psychology. He asked questions. He reflected openly. He tried to understand motivations and themes. And sometimes, when young actors begin developing intellectual autonomy and start questioning creative decisions instead of simply accepting them passively, it can bruise the ego of authority figures who are unused to being challenged.

Especially authority figures who have spent years being praised as untouchable geniuses.

I also think people underestimate how transformative therapy and psychological growth can be for someone entering adulthood. When individuals begin unpacking emotional patterns, relational imbalances, or unhealthy dynamics they normalized in childhood, their entire perception of certain relationships can shift. And sometimes, when someone who was once easy to emotionally guide begins setting boundaries, questioning things, or reclaiming autonomy, the atmosphere around them changes as well.

Not because they became “difficult,” but because they stopped functioning exactly the way others expected them to.

Historically and psychologically, toxic professional environments rarely punish people openly. They punish subtly. Through exclusion, humiliation disguised as jokes, selective praise, passive aggression, isolation, or by elevating others comparatively. Power within artistic industries is often exercised through emotional atmosphere rather than explicit statements.

And yes, I do think there are aspects of homophobia and heteronormative discomfort underlying the treatment of Will’s storyline. The contrast between the handling of Will’s identity and Robin’s immediate coming out arc understandably frustrated many queer viewers. There has always been something profoundly tragic about Will being narratively trapped in silence, longing, shame, suffering, and emotional suppression for years while the story continuously demanded patience from queer audiences in ways heterosexual narratives are almost never asked to justify.

Queer people have historically been told to “wait,” “earn visibility,” “remain subtle,” or accept crumbs of representation while heterosexual romance is allowed to exist loudly, immediately, and unapologetically. So I completely understand why many viewers perceived Will’s treatment as emotionally exhausting or even cruel at times.

At the same time, I also think it is important not to transform speculation into certainty regarding real people’s intentions or inner psychology. We can critique patterns, storytelling decisions, public behavior, and uncomfortable dynamics without pretending we possess omniscient knowledge about individuals we do not personally know.

What I will say, however, is that there is something deeply unsettling about seeing adults speak dismissively or mockingly about young actors they have worked with since childhood, particularly when those actors carried emotionally heavy material for years under immense public scrutiny.

And perhaps what saddens me most is that so many young actors in this industry seem forced to mature emotionally far too quickly. They learn very early that success and affection within entertainment often come with invisible conditions attached. They are celebrated publicly while privately navigating enormous psychological pressure, projection, dependency, and power imbalances.

Which is precisely why emotional support, therapy, healthy boundaries, and trustworthy adults are so essential in these environments.

Because fame may look glamorous from the outside, but behind the curtains, it can sometimes resemble a garden where children are expected to bloom while storms are constantly passing overhead.

After giving a nuanced and measured response, if I am to express my personal opinion more candidly, then yes, I genuinely believe there is something deeply unhealthy in the way these two men seem to interact with power, control, and emotional attachment regarding the actors they have worked with since childhood.

Personally, I perceive them as two individuals with enormous egos and extremely fragile self-images, the kind of people who struggle profoundly when they no longer have emotional control over someone they once influenced easily. And psychologically speaking, when narcissistic or emotionally manipulative personalities lose that control, they often respond through punishment, whether consciously or unconsciously. Not always through direct aggression, but through subtler forms of humiliation, favoritism, passive hostility, exclusion, ridicule, or emotional withdrawal.

I honestly do not think they appreciated the fact that Noah was no longer simply the impressionable eleven-year-old child who trusted them unconditionally. For years, the relationship appears to have been built upon the emotional weight of gratitude, loyalty, admiration, and trust. When a child grows up inside a system where adults constantly remind them, implicitly or explicitly, that their success exists because of them, it can create a deeply imbalanced dynamic where the young actor feels indebted emotionally as much as professionally.

But adulthood changes people. Therapy changes people. Self-awareness changes people.

And I genuinely suspect that once Noah began developing stronger boundaries, independent critical thinking, and a more mature understanding of himself and of the industry around him, the dynamic shifted in ways they did not appreciate.

Which is partly why I think they appear to idolize Finn so intensely in comparison.

I personally feel they projected a great deal of their own idealized and often toxic vision of masculinity onto Mike as a character, and therefore onto Finn as well. And honestly, some of the comments they have made about Finn over the years have deeply unsettled me too, especially remarks implying that Finn was somehow “not masculine enough” for Mike because “Finn is the way he is.” There is something profoundly inappropriate and invasive about statements like that, particularly when they seem to flirt with speculating publicly about a young actor’s sexuality or gender expression in ways that are not theirs to define.

That is not harmless commentary to me. That is crossing boundaries.

And regarding the constant praise surrounding Finn’s performance in season 5, I will be honest again: I personally do not even agree with their assessment artistically. In my opinion, season 5 was not Finn’s strongest acting work at all. In fact, this scene felt emotionally disconnected and weaker compared to previous seasons. Which is precisely why the excessive glorification of his performance felt less like objective artistic critique and more like emotional favoritism or “love bombing” toward someone they still perceive as aligned with them relationally.

Everything about these dynamics feels deeply unhealthy to me.

Not necessarily in a cartoonishly evil sense, but in the very real and psychologically complex sense of adults who became overly emotionally attached to the authority, admiration, loyalty, and influence they held over children who eventually grew up into adults with their own minds, boundaries, and perspectives.

And honestly, I do not think it is insignificant that someone like Winona Ryder, who herself experienced the brutality and toxicity of this industry from a very young age, appears to have distanced herself considerably from them in recent years. The fact that she repeatedly speaks with such tenderness and protectiveness toward the younger cast while remaining comparatively absent from certain promotional aspects surrounding the final season says a great deal to me, even if silently.

Because people who have survived toxic environments often recognize certain atmospheres immediately without needing them explained aloud.

And beyond all discourse about ships, theories, writing choices, or fandom wars, what struck me most while watching that documentary was how emotionally strained and creatively confused the environment seemed to feel overall. Even actors and staff looked uncertain about how to approach scenes because the emotional logic no longer made sense narratively.

That is rarely a sign of a healthy creative process.

Ultimately, I sincerely hope that one day, once contractual obligations and confidentiality agreements no longer exist, Noah, Finn, and perhaps many others from that cast will feel free to speak honestly about whatever emotional pressures, manipulations, expectations, or psychological burdens they may have experienced while growing up under the authority of adults they were taught to trust during the most vulnerable years of their lives.

#21 “The script” 2/2

thanks for the tag @ravelsquadespresso (i know this has been a while ago! - I have far too many tags to get to ;_;) I am so out of loop who has something cooking, so not going to tag anyone specific, but making it an open tag!

Role Reversal AU - A flashback where Helena gets told to not search for Heinrix anymore who at this point in time is introduced to Theodora as an heir to the von Valancius line. So far the juiciest chapter in this little ficlet I am writing, like there so many good snippets I could toss out.

“You will cease your search this instant, de Vahl.”

Helena looked up from her dataslate surprised to see her father standing on the threshold to her quarters. The bulky frame of his power armour filled out the doorway, barring her only way out. Old instincts kicked in making the hair on her neck stand on end and her eyes dart around for another escape route.

“Lord Inquisitor,” she greeted him swiftly standing up from her chair to snap into a salute.

Finally he stepped into her quarter, letting the door slide shut behind him. They were alone now, but a cold distance still hung in the small space separating them.

“You have been analysing our cogitator networks without my leave. Brasswhisper is infuriated that a layperson has dared to meddle in her domain.”