mastermind

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

certified asexual post

[excited about an aro friend getting a boyfriend] congratulations! [remembers that presenting romantic relationships as a universal goal to be achieved perpetuates amatonormativity] I don't care about your relationship at all [trying to reaffirm that I am supportive of aromanticism] and I hope you break up

I’m convinced a significant portion of queer discourse online happens because people are a little too chronically online and don’t actually know other queers irl. No, most gay men aren’t evil, you just think that because the only ones you interact with run Ariana Grande stan accounts on Twitter. Being online has heavily distorted your perceptions of other communities. You need to go to wherever the queers in your city hang out and experience queer life for what it is.

being an arctic monkeys fan is so funny bc i’m used to artists making a big deal about their releases and then there’s them. alex will write the most poignant, introspective, dumbest shit you’ll ever hear and then the band will make cool sounds and then they’ll drop it like it’s loose change and then you never hear from them again

Your white boyfriend will do nothing for you. Leave him. Join my terrorist Organization

idk thinking about how sometimes you have to show up for people you aren't that close to, because sometimes you're just the person who's there. sometimes you invite a new friend to a party and end up having to sit with them through a panic attack. sometimes you run into an acquaintance on their worst day and they need to talk about what happened. sometimes someone is crying in a stairwell and you're the only one around to ask if they're okay. and none of this is "trauma dumping" or whatever the fuck it's just being there for people because you're the one in the room with them.

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.

It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though

It was simple addition, really.

Tolkien is having his first ever egg. It’s. Not going well.

TOLKIEN IS A SNAKE. HES MY SNAKE. MY PET SNAKE. AUTHOR JOLKIEN ROLKIEN ROLKIEN TOLKIEN IS NOT BIRTHING AN EGG