lycoris

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the fact that this is so prevalent in girl Yuu but rarely any other Yuus is a little weird too...

i know im anon but im still trying to not be too specific cause i dont want to like "call out" any authors or specific fics. no hate just trying to figure out why this trope is around. im someone who values personal freedom a lot so whenever i see this stuff with Vil I have to wonder if it's really that nessacary to have him be like this. there's more i could've said but i'll stop here.

You see, I'm the biggest believe in write what you wanna write, because ultimately I can just not read something if I don't like it. However, I've always believed the most of the Twst cast would not care if Yuu was a girl.

Firstly, two of the Yuu's in the manga are girls, one of which is incredibly feminine, and from my knowledge most of the cast treats them completely the same as everyone else. Secondly, and I mentioned this in passing before, but I don't believe masculinity and femininity are held to such high standards in the world of Twisted Wonderland. While much of the this is Yana's style, most of the characters, even the more "masculine" ones, wear makeup and present in a more feminine way. As I mentioned before, but I don't think Vil is considered revolutionary in Twisted Wonderland for being particularly feminine since it's just common for people in this world to present that way.

But let's say Twisted Wonderland is like our world, and there are strict ideas of gender and presentation that people are encouraged to follow. Why would Vil out of everyone be the one to care? He is a feminine presenting man, why would a woman dressing more masculine bother him when he's essentially doing the same thing. Why would he discourage someone from presenting the way they wanted to present themself? I could understand it if Yuu felt as though they were boxed into the masculine presentation as a way of conforming to Nights Raven since it's an all male school, but then I think Vil would be encouraging Yuu to present in a way that's more true to themself rather than treating them like a doll.

Honestly, I think some Twst fans have a very strict idea of what/who Yuu is meant to be. I've noticed, especially as the manga grows in popularity, that there are a subset of Twst fans who are kinda weird about Yuu's gender. There's either people who are strangely adamant that Yuu is male because it's a all male school, despite the fact that the literal point of the entire story is that Yuu is accidentally sent to another world, and there's people who are strangely adamant Yuu is female despite nothing really suggesting that, and that swear every character would treat Yuu like they're the most special person on earth rather than an actual person. It's like people seem to forget that Twisted Wonderland is a place where women hold various positions of power and leadership and are actual people because the game focuses mainly on male characters. And it sucks because, for as little as there are, I think Twst does a good job at presenting these women like real people. I love the relationship between Najma and Jamil, or Deuce and his mother Dylla. It feels really genuine and like a lot of care was put into them.

Obviously, I've already talked about how I don't think Twisted Wonderland has the same standards as beauty as our world, but even if we're saying it does, Vil isn't a conventionally attractive man. He is hyper feminine, wears makeup and dresses and heels, he wouldn't be considered traditionally beautiful by male standards. So even then, I don't view Vil as someone who would treat others like garbage because he doesn't find them beautiful.

A lot of people tend to take Vil as a character at face value. They see his Overblot and assume it was because he wasn't deemed the best, when in reality it's much more than that. For his entire life, Vil has been put into a box and compared to others. He was never given the opportunity to be anything but what others deemed for him. Even though he's worked hard to achieve the things he wants, when he looses the VDC, it destroys him because his perception of himself is completely destroyed. He can no longer pretend that he is perfect, because his loss actively works against that. That's why the meaning of Book 5 is about stepping away from the idea of beauty that focuses on others perceptions of you, and instead focusing on achieving a version of yourself that you are proud of.

That's why Vil is so hard on Epel, because he knows that Epel's obsession with being masculine comes from insecurity and caring too much about what others think. That's why he allows Rook to transfer to Pomefiore despite him being kinda a freak. He knows that they are driven and passionate about what they want, and that's what beauty is to him.

That's why I never understand it when people say that Vil wouldn't entertain someone who doesn't fit a specific standard of beauty. If that's the case, why would he entertain Rook? You can say he thought Rook had potential, but Rook was a dirty hunter with sticks in his hair and mud on his skin who was likely slobbering at the chance to even meet Vil. I think being genuine to yourself matters more to Vil. If being genuine means never wearing makeup, then that's what he likes. If being genuine means having a ten step skincare/makeup routine, that thanks what he likes.

the entirety of transfem pomefiore is usually based off of the appearance of vil, rook, and epel. this thread is mostly opinion-based with generalized quotations & scenes as evidence.

It’s the no-internet dinosaur’s birthday!!

x - Anon

CONTENT WARNING: In this post, I will discuss, mention, and/or allude to potentially triggering subject matter such as child abuse and generational trauma. Please be aware of this before proceeding to read what is under the cut.