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In a previous post, I talked about, what I think is, the underutilized idea of the whole Avatar Cycle thing laying way to Avatars who reincarnate with the same love for their partner over and over. From what I understand, when the Avatar dies, their soul reincarnates into a new body, so while they're technically a new person, they share memories and aspects from their past lives. In this case, I like to imagine a reality where Wan, the first Avatar, had so much love for you during his life that his soul became tethered to yours. Similar to how the Avatar reincarnates, your soul reincarnates with it, since it's essentially tied to the Avatar Cycle. This means, that in every life, you, and the Avatar, are linked. Whether are lovers, or enemies, or simply friends, your lives are connected.

I haven't watched Legend of Korra, but I love the idea of Reader being the lover of Avatar Wan before he merged with Raava, with their love for each other transcending time, their souls remaining connected even after death. However, as time passes, that connection changes, so while they're always connected, they never strictly lovers. It's more like how you describe it, people who are close and feel a connection they can't fully describe, but is indestructible. But I imagine since their feelings are so strong, it almost always defaults to some sort of romantic feelings. Take Aang for example, I could imagine his feelings being more friendly when he's younger before only evolving once he understands his role as the Avatar more. This probably would change when Korra resets the Avatar Cycle however, with Reader's soul no longer being tied to the cycle and now no longer tied to the Avatar.

For me, the angst comes from the fact that the Avatar, through reincarnations, will always outlive their lover.

There's two ways that I think this could go down. One, where the Avatar, in a very toxic way, seeks out people who remind them of their lover, forgoing these people and their real personhood in favor of recreating the person they've loved the most over lifetimes. I don't really see this one happening, because again, even though the Avatar reincarnates, I do think they are separate people with their own identities. A less toxic, and more realistic scenario (in a way) is one where the Avatar's love for their lover simply transients the natural order of life and death, so whether or not the Avatar is aware of it, their constantly searching for the one they love, the person their very soul is tethered to.

The angst of both of these scenarios is that regardless of what happens, the Avatar is forced to live, even through reincarnation, while the person they love dies. They're forced to forget and remember all the versions of person they love. Even if they promise to find you in every lifetime of theirs, what's stopping you from dying before they can, or not even remembering you? Even if every part of themself wants to be with you, what if, at some point, they fall in love with someone else? They can't force themself to want something simply because past versions of themselves did. What if the same thing happens to you, falling in love with someone who isn't them?

Like I understand that each of the Avatars are different people, but the thought of their love for you following them every time they reincarnate is, at least in my head, a very interesting idea and very romantic.

The way the game just writes the player into the narrative as Teyvat’s Lost God and accords them lore to make their existence make sense to Teyvat is a brilliant take. I’ve got a few questions about it.

1) How does more recent Genshin events affect Lost God information. Specifically what just happened to Irminsul. Follow up; Dottore probably researched about them seeing as he wanted to use Teyvat’s primordial power which isn’t in the domain of the Heavenly Principals. Am I right?

2) Colombina being the Moon Goddess and absorbing the power of the previous Moon Goddesses. Does that affect anything about her thoughts or knowledge?

3) The game can’t explain the player’s presence and makes up lore for why they exist, doesn’t that logically mean they have to be having some kind of affect on the world? Beyond simple presence I mean. If only because the narrative would stay frozen at any point of progression without player initiative.

4) Since the Temple of Space is all about preservation, there has to be something that at least alludes to the Lost God information is that right? Or possibly the Frost Moon?

Thanks for creating such a fun AU to chew on.

Don't worry about not knowing about HSR, my Genshin x HSR AU is separate to my Genshin Self Aware AU, so you don't actually have to know anything about HSR if you like the Self Aware AU.

This pertains spoilers for the most recents Archon Quests, please be wary as you read.

Firstly, Irminsul was replaced with Aaru, which was originally created using celestial technology, which was stolen by the Goddess of Flowers. Irminsul was the original thing to gain awareness of your existence, so once it's destroyed and its function is put onto Aaru, it too gains awareness of your existence. This is likely because of the data stored up in the Ley Lines, allowing for its functions to continue. I also like to imagine that if Aaru has piece of celestial technology within it, then switching to Aaru is was makes Celestia change as well.

Within the context of the AU, Columbina has known the Lost God for a long time, but likely lost memories of them when she was "born" on Teyvat. The Moon Goddesses, and subsequently Nibelung and the Dragons, have stronger connections with the Lost God, but when the False Sky was put up that connection was lost, and Columbina was only able to regain that information once her Moon was back in Teyvat. I like to think that Columbina is more focused on finding the Lost God once she's back on her Moon, specifically searching through the technology that was left on it during her absence in order to potentially learn more about them.

If I'm getting your third question right, you're asking if the player has any psychical effect on the world, and that answer is yes and no. Within the context of this AU, the world of Teyvat is a lot more real than it seems to be. It's not simply just a video game that happens to become sentient, it is a real, living world, and that world does exist. The game serves as a connection between these two worlds, and Irminsul rationalizes this connection the best way it can, which is by writing you into the world as a God. For the amount of presence you have on the world, it's kinda vague. The world doesn't cease to exist when you turn the game off, the characters don't only exist in the world who you play as them, so on and so forth. Where you affect the world is through the things Irminsul changes in order for you to exist, and these things then leave an impact on the world.

Finally, I think the temple of space has the most references to the Lost God, but a lot of it is hidden due to the fact that it was a space for Asmoday and the other Fates. I imagine they censored what they could from the temple. The people within the Temple likely remember bits about the Lost God, but like I said, different societies worshipped the Lost God as different things, so these seemingly different Gods are actually the same being.

What if the reader confesses to him? Hes forced to make a choice between two, and he doesnt want either

Either accept and put you in insurmountable danger? Perhaps having to hide you away from the world

OR EVEN BETTER (worse) reject you with a limited explanation, watching your heart break alongside his? Having to work with you still and keep you at arms length?

AAAAUGHDJSBANAKTUHKN IT HURTS SO GOOD NOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you <3

This could go one of two ways. The most angsty scenario, like you suggested, is one where Corvus flat out rejects you because he wants you to safe. I imagine he establishes a professional working relationship, moving back on his previous affections because he's deathly afraid of anything he expresses could lead to your demise. It would be so easy to exploit this type of love, and so he withdrawals and keeps away from you out of some self impossed necessity.

On the other hand, if he were to accept your feelings, he would only do so under specific circumstances. In order to actually enter a relationship with you, he would need you to leave the Cleaners. Corvus only thinks being in the Cleaners if a safer option for you if you're simply just another person working under him. The moment you actually breech that imaginary boundary, that relationship becomes a risk, and now he's having to choose over you being a Cleaner or you being with him. Leaving the Cleaners doesn't simply mean quitting your job, it means cutting all ties from the Cleaners, they don't talk about you, as if you disappeared or died, and you don't talk about them. There's an understanding that Corvus took you away because he wanted to protect you, and that this need to protect you overrode everything else. But this is a big ask, so he understandably gives you an out, one where you aren't forced to leave, but those feeling that you both shared are never talked about again. He always leaves the option on the table though, it's an unspoken understanding between you.

So the TDLR is that both of them are one thousand plus year old beings that don't really feel emotions the same way a normal humans would, so their emotions aren't easily comprehensible.

One the longer end, I think they both have pretty deep feelings, though those feelings aren't easily put into words because they've existed for so long. While they were once humans, they're are both so far removed from humanity that they don't even consider themselves to be such anymore, and I think that largely effects the way they form relationships with others.

Kenjaku mentions, kinda offhandedly to be fair, that he begins to act like Suguru even when he isn't expecting it. It's unclear if this is due to him playing the role of Suguru for years or his cursed technique, but I like to imagine it's a mixture of both. The memories Suguru has of Reader mixed with Kenjaku's own confusing feelings creates emotions that I think are hard to quantify and understand. I also think it's important to remember that Kenjaku bases relationships off of what he can get out of them, rather than care or love. Take him absorbing Mahito or his relationships with Yuji and the Death Paintings. I think it would be a stretch to say that he cares about any of them, so I don't want to say that he would "love" reader, because that would be out of character for him. However, I think if Geto were to have genuinely loved Reader throughout these many cycles, he would have a similar feeling that Choso had to Yuji, maybe less extreme, but my point still stands. It would only be worse if Kenjaku were to have formed some weird toxic bond/connection with Reader, finding himself more obsessed with their cursed technique rather than themself specifically if that makes sense.

Sukuna is another thing entirely. He's defined by themes of rejection. Twins are ill omens in Jujustu society, he isn't a curse but he also isn't accepted by humans. I don't necessarily know Sukuna's relationship with his mother, but whether he was accepted and cared by her for a period of his life or rejected by her, I think her likely death early on in his life aided in this feeling of rejection and eventual desire to "punish the world" for his treatment. This all makes it hard to believe that Sukuna would feel traditional expressions of love, because his existence is defined by his inability to receive love.

My point in this semi analysis is to convince you guys that these aren't people who can be "fixed" through love or attention. If that was the case that would've happened years ago. However, when it comes to Reader and their depression, and loneliness, and obsession with something they can't obtain (true death), I don't think it's crazy to think that they would bond with these people who seem to persist and claim to understand them. In many ways, these two are some of the only people to remember them, even if what they remember is hatred, and it grounds Reader in reality somewhat. Reader still hates them, but I think deep down, they feel more alive to them both than they would like to admit.

Kenjaku and Sukuna are older beings and therefore have a much easier time realizing the effects of Reader's technique. Someone like Kenjaku, who's lived through others for thousands of years, has a likelyhood of seeing Reader thought time and putting two and two together. If Reader were go back in time to when Kanjaku possessed Noritoshi Kamo, and then was to go back forwards in time to when he possessed Geto, all within the same cycle, it would be pretty obvious that something was up with them. The only thing holding Reader back from doing this is the limit of their technique shortening their lifespan. Going that far backwards and forwards in time shortens it significantly. However, since Kenjaku has lived so long, and because he's an immensely strong curse, it's not too much of a stretch to believe he could realize the power of Reader's technique. This same logic also applies to Sukuna. Another character who I think could figure out Reader's technique is likely Tengen, simply due to their immortal nature and immense power, especially after 2006 when they begin to loose their human nature and become more with the world.

I think Reader mainly feels angry at Jujustu society for allowing these same cycles of violence to continue on to these children, specifically Yuji, who never asked for any of the things he went through. They hate how these children are sent to war under the guise of "the greater good", without acknowledging the countless deaths that happen, both to sorcerers and non-sorcerers. They've been forced to watch Sukuna take over Yuji and destroy Shibyua over and over, watch as he struggles with compartmentalizing that, watch as his childhood is stripped away from him continuously. They want a world where these kids don't have to put their lives on the line, and I imagine at a certain point, Reader accepts that if the only way these people can be happy is through their sacrifices, then Reader is willing to put their life on the line over and over again.

Reader is lonely more often than not. It's hard to make friendships last when they're forgetting most things about you. They can't talk about the most difficult thing in their life because no one will remember it, so they bottle up everything inside and try to do their best to help others, believing that will bring them happiness. What's worse, they can't truly end it, there is no end for them.

Gojo and Geto have known them for what feels like lifetimes, but at the same time know so little about them. They grieve them, but they're also still alive... it drives them mad.

Sukuna holds these confusing, conflicting emotions for a sorcerer he met in the Heian era. He knew them only for a few days before they dropped like a mayfly, yet it felt like he'd known them for years -- fighting them, killing them, knowing them. He might even miss them (as much as he'd deny it), and seeing them again would probably make those weird emotions flare up all over again.

Reader's efforts to help might just be causing more trouble...

Reader's technique works similarly to a memory. When they're reborn, they do live a life, have experiences, even if they seemingly wake up in the body of their adult self randomly. They've still lived a life before that, and all their previous lives haunt them. It's hazy and exists in the back of their mind, similar to how you might attempt to remember someone that seems familiar to you. It's difficult because you can't remember the exact shape of their face or curve of their nose, but when you look at them you know you know them.

This is how others rationalize Reader as well. I like to imagine Reader believes their case technique will never be figured out, because if Satoru, someone with the Six Eyes, can't figure it out, then no one will. But when they're unaware of is how the constant time paradox that is their existence is rationalized by others. When reader is reborn, their life they technically never experienced makes up a memory, a hazy image of themself that both exists and doesn't exist. Part of their past lives make up these memories, which is how Gojo or Geto might both remember Reader dying when they were teens but also living long enough to witness Shibuya. The same is true for Reader as well, it's why they were able to remember Gojo as a standoffish acquaintance, while in the life they were current living, Gojo and them were friends. I like to imagine that these memories metaphorically stack on top of each other and get harder and harder to remember the more times Reader dies, which makes it more difficult to figure out whey Reader feels so familiar.

Figuring this out does make them go crazy, because suddenly you're aware of the deaths of your friends, the times they died in your arms, the times you were nice to them or mean to them. It's hard to rationalize, because moments before they were something very simple, and suddenly it's like lifetimes of feelings and memories are being compounded on top of you, and it's hard to truly figure out how you're feeling. It's not as simple as becoming immune to Reader's cursed technique, but coming to the realization that something is up with them makes it easier to figure them out again and again. It's like missing someone you've never even met, if that makes sense?

Ok ok ok, about the time travel jjk AU:

Just to try and understand the lifespan penalty a lil better... If the MC is currently 15 years old, and they die and go backwards in time a total of 20 years, does that mean that in that timeline in the past they're still 15 (physical and mental) but, in terms of their technique, they're actually 35 because of the penalty? It's not that they age the amount of years travelled, but that that amount of years gets taken from them, correct? So in this case, if the MC would normally have died at 100 years old, will they die now at age 80 instead (assuming natural causes), since they no longer have 85 years left to live but only 65?

Did I get that right? In that case, if they go back/forth 200 years, they die nearly instantly because it's as if they're suddenly actually 215 years old and there's a 115 years of "death deabt" to compensate... So like, instant poof, you're dead.

MAYBE I MADE IT MORE COMPLICATED lol sorry, time shenanigans are fun and confusing.

Reader's technique in terms of their age is kinda weird. If they were in the canon timeline they would be about the age of 29-30. If they were to go back in time from that point, back to high school for example, they would be 15. However, if they were to go back in time, before they were even born for example, they would be whatever age they were when they traveled back in time. Traveling backwards and forwards in time makes Reader forget how old they're actually supposed to be, especially since, in their first life, they died early in their life. For simplicity, their age is simply relative to wherever they end up.

The penalty isn't necessarily tied to their age however. When reader travels forwards or backwards in time, their lifespans is shortened as a result relative to however far they went. For example, going from their high school years to adulthood would only cost them a few years. But, if they went super far into the future, decades could be taken off. It's meant to balance out the strengths of the cursed technique, giving reader a naturally short lifespan even with it. It's why reader couldn't just travel far into the past and do whatever they wanted, at least not with the current understanding they have of their technique, because it would result in instant death.

Fair warning, this might be a bit complicated, so if you guys want I'll make another post explaining reader's cursed technique in full. I hope you enjoy this, please feel free to send asks about this AU if you're interested.

This is only going to contain up to the Shibuya Arc, since I haven't watched/read anything further. Once I do, I'll update the AU accordingly.

TW: Reader dies in this a lot and views death very neutrally, so there might be moments where they make light of suicide and death in general. Please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable. (Also I promise you I didn't mess up while writing this—it's a stylistic choice).

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The first word that Satoru Gojo said to you was "Ordinary."