we’re one, at least, in folly

girl who's 2 drinks in: i love you i love you and i love youuu

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

the "rip ___ you would have loved ___" meme is inherently more fun with ancient characters. rip clytemnestra you would have loved morse code. rip theseus you would have loved the airtag. rip callisto you would have loved wearing shorts.

i was going to write "rip pentheus you would have loved estrogen" but i lost it at "rip pentheus" because that is. what happened

A belly can be a "slut waist" too. If you're not a fearful little freak

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

oftentimes two guys who want to fuck each other not fucking each other is hotter than if they fucked each other

and you know what? Maybe I do tag my “blorbos” in a lot of random people’s unrelated posts but I’ve never tagged a man in a post about a woman. Which is why unlike a lot of other people I’m still going to heaven

rb to relieve the back pain of the person u reblogged this from

sometimes i have strong opinions but they're also so inane that halfway through writing a post i'll be like "yeah, this is Absolutely not worth the energy it's taking" and delete everything. but then the opinion is still in my head. and i still want to share it. so within five minutes i go "you know, i bet i can phrase it more succinctly this time" and anyway. you all see where this is going. sometimes i do this four times in a row before i give up on the specific inane opinion and instead write a vague post about the concept of opinions as if that'll satisfy the urge to post the entirety of my inner monologue online. may or may not be relevant to what you're reading right now. and now all our lives have been enriched. you're welcome

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know