Too bored to live too young to die...

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

I saw this post on the Wikipedia

@posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia Explain

I forgot that Wikipedia has like a forum section (?) and thought you saw this in an article and was baffled at the thought. My bad carry on

I mean it is featured on this article

wow that was some article. wikipedians are lot wilder than i thought

one of the underrated lessons from lotr's Aragorn is to avoid responsibility for as long as humanly possible, possibly in the woods, possibly without showering, until the small folk need you or whatever

. that is a serial killer

the fact that i have to be in the “right headspace” to do even the simplest tasks. absolutely humiliating

whenever you are cutting open a too-enthusiastically sealed package or slicing a reluctant tomato be always aware that whatever sharp implement you are using thirsts endlessly for your flesh and no matter where you've placed your hand, if you slip for just a moment, the point will FIND YOU

an ornithologist pointed a microphone at a bird sitting alone on a wire and caught the sound of the bird singing a song at a decibel so low that it would be impossible for another bird to hear it, meaning the bird was singing quietly to itself I love life

The perfect video doesn't exi-