ilya rozanov learns the term “bane of my existence” and starts calling his husband “the shane of my existence” in just about any scenario
Jules of Nature

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ilya rozanov learns the term “bane of my existence” and starts calling his husband “the shane of my existence” in just about any scenario

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There should be an equivalent to asking "how's the wife and kids?" that's like "so how's that fictional man of yours doing?"
If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker
FUCK OFF VLAD I KNOW ITS YOU
MONTREAL METROS (minus hayden) NEED TO BE CATAPULTED INTO THE SUN

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8.11 + buddie text posts
the fact Buck would rather let everyone believe he’s single by Tommy’s choice because he hasn’t told anyone about the conversation he and Tommy had the morning after their hookup instead of explaining why he has chosen not to get back with Tommy is just incredible. like goddamn my dude you’re totally beating the in love with your best friend allegations aren’t you
Wanna ramble about the differences and symbolism in the two Skip hugs
In this one from episode 3, Scott is apologising, and Kip is comforting him; but look at the visuals:
Scott isn't hugging back. He's just leaning on Kip.
Kip's arms are around Scott's back, but Scott's arms are down. He leans down, back curving around Kip, pressing his face into Kip's neck
But if we were to look at this metaphorically: Kip's the only thing supporting Scott while Scott isn't supporting him back. In fact, Scott is weighing him down. And this really mostly works because of Francois and Robbie's considerable height difference, but this hug/support looks strenuous for Kip: Scott is heavier and larger than Kip, so is his baggage. This obviously isn't to say Scott doesn't provide for Kip or love Kip, but it's that Kip is sacrificing his own sense of safety around his queer identity to support Scott's need to keep his queer identity a secret. This isn't equal, which led to their eventual breakup.
Now look at the hug during the Stanley Cup Kiss
Scott is leaning down and grabbing Kip closer to him, completely enveloping Kip and even lifting him up (look at his right hand, he's pressing Kip into him)
at the same time, Kip is reaching up to meet Scott: he's a little bit on his tiptoes and his left arm hooks over Scott's neck, both pull himself up and pressing Scott's head into his neck
This time, they're meeting in the middle. This time, they work in balance, in harmony.
Rose (practicing in front of the mirror before meeting with Shane): Haha lots of my exes are gay men, are any of yours? No, too indirect. Try again. Babe, you’re gay. No, too strong.
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out

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me walking to the bathroom at 3am in a massively oversized shirt, using gay fanfic on my phone to light the way
Cannot be the first to think of this. He should have kept the suit on.
“who hurt you” me bitch i make bad decisions because i’m stupid
would you collect rocks with me. be honest
It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny
at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”
Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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quick question! in which part of your life do you stop feeling like a scolded child? quick question! am i in trouble? quick question! you would tell me if im in trouble right? quick question! please don't send me to my room quick question! please don't be mad
They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies