wretched creature with a boot knife

*aborted bandmate voice* i would be touching you in a vaguely gay way onstage right now... if i existed

theoretical bassist who can play more than just the root notes

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

He has died for our sins.

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

Please, I just want to know what your migratory flight path is, I promise I’ll release you after I give you this bracelet that will insanely up your game with the ladies

bitches love me for my bright and colourful leg band

shout out to the hot girl in my playwriting class who responds with “yeah, but that’s derivative of neon genesis evangelion” every time somebody brings up some artsy film i’ve never heard of and they immediately shut up and can’t argue without admitting they’ve seen nge. us regular-looking people could never get away with that. THAT’S what we mean when we say “use your privilege for good” 

hey do u wanna jerk off together. as friends

sexual thrill at the mere prospect of cataloging things in a database

unblock me i had a prophetic vision involving you that concerns the fate of the universe