green guy

What does hate fuck mean ?

when hate someone so much you fuck them

The mere concept of a resident evil male nude mod is so funny to me. Boy put that boaner away lest a sloppy little critter grabs hold of it

You can lie when you name things

coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”

dead tired today so I grabbed a coffee from the gas station & the guy greeted me by trying to say “is that everything “ but fumbled and said “e ga thebythin” and me trying to say “yeah” or “yup” just went “YIP!” in response. No survivors

Scariest trip to the toilet ever because there is a massive scarab beetle loose about the house and idk where it is and I do NOT want it flying in my eye while I shart

I'm not making this shit up gang I'm not fucking combobulated rn

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person