BG3 nut | VP taker | fic writer
Nothing is sacred here but cheesecake and Dark Urge x Halsin
I don't need Dribbles to make my life a circus
Please don't repost or otherwise use my VP without my permission
*clears throat* Welcome to my small imaginary world. I'm Alice, a neurodivergent, burnt-out product manager, and I'm here to escape reality in better universes. My current hyperfixation is Baldur's Gate 3, and, knowing myself, I suspect that it is here to stay for a while. Other than BG3, I'm fond of Dragon Age, Mass Effect, World of Warcraft (phantom pains, you know), The Witcher - I never say no to a good RPG.
At this moment my fandom life turns around my resisting Dark Urge OC Ethery and her crazy romance with Halsin.
My AO3 works
Before The Dawn
(redeemed Dark Urge x Halsin, Halsin x Minor Male Character, angst, hurt/comfort, Halsin's past trauma)
All You Have To Do Is Dream
(resisting Dark Urge x Halsin, conflict with the Emperor, friendship with Astarion, angst, hurt/comfort, emotional and psychological abuse, gaslighting, mental health issues)
My VP
If you want to use my VP in any way outside of sharing via reblog, please ask for my permission - most likely I'll very happily give it. Like most folks, I'd rather know where and how my stuff is being used.
All my latest stuff, mostly my OC Ethery x Halsin
Daily Halsin - mostly solo portraits of our beloved Archdruid
My WIP tag list
if you want to play WIP games with me, let me know in this post (or any other way)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Tagged by @rdekarios and @deianestormborn - thank you, lovelies!π
Of course, Ethery's wheel of fate turns ever to the dark...
Banshee (/ΛbΓ¦nΚiΛ/ BAN-shee; Modern Irish bean sΓ [bΚ²anΛ ΛΚiΛ], from Old Irish: ben sΓde [bΚ²en ΛΚiΛΓ°Κ²e], "woman of the fairy mound" or "fairy woman") is a female spirit in Irish folklore who heralds the death of a family member, usually by screaming, wailing, shrieking, or keening. Sometimes she has long streaming hair, which she may be seen combing, with some legends specifying she can only keen while combing her hair. She wears a grey cloak over a green dress, and her eyes are red from continual weeping.
No pressure tags: @optimisticgrey @unovafarm @missfortunetherogue @cursed-nyxan @aristenfromwarsaw (thanks for those tutorials - two lessons used here!) @bladesingerlily @scoldingdarjeeling @archduchessgortash @gortashsrighthand
The Baobhan Sith (pronounced BAA-van shee) translates from Scottish Gaelic as βfairy witchβ or βfairy hagβ. She is a chilling entity, a member of the Fair Folk, but she is no benign, butterfly-winged creature of childrenβs fairy tales. She is described as lithe and beautiful, with rich red hair, and clad in a green or white dress. The glamour she casts about herself conceals her true appearance, however, it is not flawless, for she cannot fully conceal her deer hooves, which may be glimpsed beneath her gown.
Come, my love, and sway with me underneath the elder trees,
For I am the Baobhan Sith, darling, close your eyes.
- Song by SYR
@wild-surge tagged me in a new OC redesign prompt (check out their incredible post here) - thank you so much!
Back into folklore we go and looking at the fae; fairies and gnomes, a humble bridge troll maybe? Redcaps and gremlins or a fearsome nuckelavee? Mythology of any given country or maybe inspiration from another media? A beautiful ruler of their own court who traps people that can't help for but a taste of the delicious food presented? Or maybe a feystolen child? A changeling pretending to be a human? A witch in the disguise of a beautiful maiden living in her hut that walks on hen legs?
I decided to give Seraphina some fairy wings and make her look a little creepier than usual... because fairies can be mischievous little things! (Wild magic must make Fairy Phina quite unpredictable! π€£)
Fun fact that I just discovered, in Scottish Gaelic fairies are called Na daoine sΓ¬the (pronounced: Nuh Duh-nya She-huh), which translates to βthe peaceful peopleβ... not necessarily because they are peaceful, but because staying respectful toward them is about your best chance to not have them play mischief on you π«΅ So you gotta be nice to Fairy Phina, just saying π
Gentle tags for the wonderful: @optimisticgrey, @lucretiouswept, @deianestormborn, @perpetualmaladaptivedaydream, @bladesingerlily, @babydinosaur930, @dr4gonwriter, @selunitejeanne, @zigloo, @asorceresswrites, @wasteful-sam, @elfiramore, @riddlerosehearts, @obsessedwhyyes π
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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me: I will sit down, read all the wips, comment on them AND continue the fanfics I have been reading. and I will answer all the cute tags and take VPs for them
also me, having a job:
(in work stuff, not fandom stuff, I haste to point out. i love fandom stuff. hate capitalism.
Well, this was scheduled for tomorrow, but editing scheduled posts on mobile automatically leads to publishing, apparently. Happy early Wednesday. I am sure it's Wednesday somewhere.
On Wednesday, we wip
@litsenn @denesmera @nw39 @ghost-of-a-dream-girl and @onepixelaway
Thank you, dears! π«Ά
featuring one of the many many many shots I took for the events
Warning: mentioning of mental decline, alcohol abuse and ptsd
Over the following days, I unraveled in small, painful increments.
There was no singular collapse. No dramatic moment where everything broke apart at once. Instead, it happened quietly, piece by piece, until I found myself standing amid the wreckage of a mind in a life I could no longer reliably navigate.
Sleep, when it came at all, was brief and unkind. Most nights I drifted between exhaustion and wakefulness, trapped in that miserable space where the body begs for rest while the mind refuses to grant it. The memories I had unearthed lingered behind my eyes whenever I closed them. Faces, too many of them. Blood. Voices. The realization of who I had been. What I had done. What I was.
Gale scarcely left my side.
Under different circumstances, I would have cherished it entirely. I have loved few things more in my life than waking to find him beside me, a book forgotten in his lap because he had fallen asleep waiting for me to rest. Yet worry changes people, it narrows their world. Every time I looked up, I found his gaze already on me, filled with concern so profound it bordered on fear.
I loved him for it.
Gods help me, I loved him for it.
But eventually even love becomes heavy when it is mixed with helplessness.
I could see him searching for solutions that did not exist. Watching me constantly for signs that I was improving, hoping every morning would be the one where I woke up more myself than the day before.
And each morning, I disappointed him.
Not intentionally, though. Simply by continuing to fall apart.
Alcohol became my most reliable companion during that time. Wine, mead, even whiskeyβwhatever happened to be within reach. If I drank enough, the edges softened. The memories grew distant. Sleep became possible. On nights when drink failed me, Halsin quietly offered remedies strong enough to force rest upon me.
I took those, too. Not because I wanted to sleep, quite the opposite.
I wanted desperately to remain awake.
Sleep meant dreams.
Dreams meant remembering.
And remembering had become unbearable.
Of course, none of them were fooled.
I noticed the glances. The silent conversations conducted across rooms when they believed I was not paying attention. I noticed Gale's growing concern every time I reached for another bottle. I noticed Halsin gently redirecting conversations whenever the subject wandered too close to my drinking.
Most of all, I noticed the way he occasionally restrained Gale from speaking.
A hand on his arm. A look. The slightest shake of his head.
As though reminding him that some battles could not be won through argument. As though reminding him that pushing too hard would only drive me further away.
I saw all of it. I simply lacked the strength to address it.
Yet for all the misery of that period, for all the sleepless nights and self-inflicted wounds disguised as coping mechanisms, there was another story unfolding beneath it.
Rachel used to tell me that where there is shadow, there is light.
At the time, I often found the sentiment irritating. Years later, I have been forced to admit she was right more often than I cared to acknowledge, because while I was busy losing my mind, something beautiful was happening directly in front of me.
Halsin and Soren were falling in love and neither of them seemed aware of it.
That was the truly remarkable part.
Everyone else noticed.
Everyone.
Gale and Jenn certainly did and even I, in my ruined state, noticed. We were placing wagers by the end of the second week.
Yet the two men involved appeared blissfully oblivious. Or perhaps merely unwilling to acknowledge what was becoming increasingly obvious.
It began with glances, small things, the sort of moments most people overlook: a smile lingering a second too long, eyes seeking one another across crowded rooms, or the unconscious softening of expression that occurs only in the presence of someone deeply cherished.
Soren began finding reasons to accompany Halsin wherever he went. Halsin, despite being a man with more responsibilities than seemed remotely fair, somehow always found time to accompany Soren in return.
When Gale required something from the market, Soren invariably volunteered before anyone else could. Halsin would then discover a sudden and urgent need to visit the market as well.
Entirely coincidental, I am sure.
More than once, I walked into the kitchen only to discover both standing there, engaged in conversation so engrossing they had forgotten whatever task originally brought them there.
The bread remained unbaked, the tea went cold, the vegetables sat untouched and neither seemed to notice, while they simply talked. Sometimes for hours.
Watching them became my favorite pastime, not because it was amusingβthough it often wasβbut because it was normal.
Wonderfully, beautifully normal.
While my world was being torn apart by revelations about murder, blood, destiny, and all the horrors attached to my father's name, two people I cared for were slowly, inevitably finding their way towards one another.
There was something profoundly comforting about that.
Love continued to exist. Life continued to move forward. People still smiled at one another across rooms. They still found excuses to spend time together. Still forgot themselves in conversation. Still fell in love.
And somehow, during one of the darkest periods of my life, that simple truth kept me afloat.
I could not save myself then, I was far too lost for that, but I could watch them.
I could cheer silently from the sidelines. I could delight in every shared smile and stolen glance. And in doing so, I was reminded that despite everything I had remembered about myself, despite every terrible thing lurking in my past, the world remained capable of producing gentle things.
For a little while, watching two people fall in love became the thread that kept me tethered to the person I wanted to be.
gentle tags for @theya-art @c-e-p5315 (if you like) @alliskit @lucretiouswept @archduchessgortash @graysparrowao3 @mesmerisingpurple @spillingteanotpermitted @defira85 @deianestormborn @wasteful-sam @bladesingerlily @kt-catt @thepalelawyer @lotus-ignis @renofdragons @citruskushh @alrendriablaze @dutifullylazybread and, as always, @lilhumanoid
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The current state of DEI in Gaming is hurting/demonizing the LGBTQIA+ Community as a whole and needs to be overhauled completely...
Since it's Pride month, I wanted to talk about something that has been weighing on me as a LGBTQIA+ person, namely how DEI in Gaming is hurting us in the long run.
(This ties into writing self-inserts but that's another topic for another day)
So for context, look at games currently with heavy DEI consultancy and ignore the slop journalism, read actual reviews from real players, play those games yourself, research the real sales (not what the gaming outlets tell you) and you realize a disturbing pattern: All of these games are being advised by DEI consultant groups that have no idea how to write actual LGBTQIA+ storylines and characters. They're fantastic at being activists (we need that) but they cannot for the life of them write a good LGBTQIA+ storyline without maligning potential Allies.
The most egregious example is Taash from Veilguard. I've always wanted a nonbinary companion in Dragon Age but unfortunately Taash is a stereotypical girlboss (without the girl since they're nonbinary) and just reinforces why we nonbinary people get bad rep. And not only that, but it's also clear as day that whoever wrote them was on a power trip and wrote the most unlikable companion ever. That's horrible and just plain damaging to nonbinary community.
People talk shit about Dorian all the time, but consensus is that he's a well written gay character. He doesn't stick out like a sore thumb in the setting (you can even get rid of him if you want, you don't have to endure him if he's someone you dislike, that's the beauty of the old Dragon Age, the ability to commit evil deeds makes the good ones all the more satisfying) and he's not actively making you hate him, unlike Taash who just has no likable qualities (and I'm saying this as a nonbinary person myself, I hate Taash. Characters like them are the reason why nonbinary people like me are the laughingstock and pariahs of the communities.)
People need to understand something: Pride is about visibility and being your authentic self yes, it's about celebrating ourselves and fighting for our human rights, but it is also about winning people over as Allies.
We need Allies. Just like how dealing with Racism requires having white people on board to deal with the core issues and show the contrasts so others can understand (I'm South African. Apartheid ended because Black people and White people worked together to end it as peacefully as possible, it wasn't a one-sided thing. The gap needed to bridged or nothing would happen without violence), the LGBTQIA+ community needs it's Allies to help bridge the gap.
DEI in gaming is only widening the gap; it's not bringing people together. Instead, you have Reddit mod style dev teams who talk down to people and are utterly delulu lol when they shoot themselves in the foot and wonder why no one is buying their game. (I hate Reddit, a story for another day but I digress. Look up SaveAFox and Mikayla Raines if you want to know why I absolutely despise that site)
Look at 1348 Ex Voto. The game had a great premise (female knight presenting as male, etc) and had freaking Jennifer English (Shadowheart / Maelle, one of the top female VAs right now) as the love interest / villain (this was a shock and a really good piece of storytelling that got lost in the controversy, having the love interest be the villain was really cool!) and yet it silently flopped. Why? Because the devs decided it was more important to start a culture war with the "A Knight's Path" devs and other users on X/Twitter instead of improving their flawed game. I'm sorry but what sunk 1348 Ex Voto was not just the bad gameplay but the shitty attitude of the devs. Play with fire and you get burned. Cue Surprised!Pikachu face from the devs after.
I'm getting off point but basically what I'm saying is this: We need real LGBTQIA+ writers in the gaming industry, not DEI activists who write like fanfic writers (nothing wrong with that, I'm a fanfic writer too but fanfic writing is nothing like professional writing, apples and oranges, need to be in different bags). Activism is always needed but let the damn professional writers do the writing for goodness' sake!
I strongly suspect that the whole Taash problem is on Electronic Arts rather than their actual writer. The writer, Trick Weekes, is nonbinary themselves and they are anything but talentless - they wrote one of the best antagonists in history, Solas, just as other remarkable characters. I just refuse to believe that they, having an opportunity to write a nonbinary companion, squandered it by turning the character into a bad xitter account with zero immersion. Plus, BioWare already had some experience - in DA: Inquisition there was a FtM transgender character, Krem, not a companion, but a very noticeable and beloved NPC - he was brilliantly introduced and built into the world, the main goal, the total normality of him being transgender, was achieved with him. The corporate bosses though? Judging by how much the writing quality plummeted in The Veilguard, how many of their best writers left or were simply laid off (they laid off Mary Kirby!!!), the problem comes from the corporate level. From people who know the DEI abbreviation, but don't know a fig about good character writing.
Astarion will not tolerate such an injustice! HISS!
(if you don't get this reference, His Majesty, the cat in moonrise, says the cleric is a liar because she promised him a bowl of milk and yet, he had no milk).
She comes in dreams and sings to her killer. Ethery wanted to take to the Grove and introduce to Alfira - just to wake up and see her mutilated corpse.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Redrawing a meme for today's prompt of the pride event : Polyam :3 Because these three are a thing in my timeline, and I cannot let this day pass without celebrating polyamory π₯°
Had a long debate with myself to decide who would be flipping off people between Shads and Karlach, Shadowheart won. Mostly because she's the tiniest of the three and that made my job easier to redraaw the reference lmao
And yes, I've extended Halsin's tattoo. Because.
Thank you @worfs-glorious-hair for the event π³οΈβπβ¨
...or more like "Oh well, I fell asleep and almost forgot to share this", today with our special guest, Shadowheart! Both of them deserve all the kisses π
BG3 Alphabet Challenge
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