I Really Don't Care

Marge better bring the bag this month

gratuity coming on monday baybee!!!

nothing cuter than a cat reaching out to very gently bother you with a paw

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

w-what if potato is actually lucky

You tell the pizza guy you don't have any money and want to pay in pussy and he just breaks down crying. You were his thirteenth job of the day, after also doing lyft and Doordarsh and task rabbit, and honestly like, the sentiment is nice, he WOULD like some intimacy (he's so tired by the end of the day, he can't even masturbate and anyways he feels so disconnected from his body, it's like a tool for capitalism and he struggles to view it as something capable of pleasure) but honestly, if you could PLEASE just give him $20 so he can afford something off the value menu at McDonald's. And you feel so miserable, like damn, you and the pizza guy end up splitting the pizza and just talking, and he tells you about his lifelong dream of taking up scuba diving and you tell him about your little etsy business that you do on top of your office job, and for a moment the human connection is enough for the both of you. Yall still fuck. Five stars, delivery driver was considerate, flexible and was open to pegging.

William Gibson could have written this in 1990.

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

pussy from a boy who is stupid

"Not everything is gay" babe youre saying this on the wrong platform. Everything is kinda gay on Tumblr.