ANSWER TO THIS COMMENT MADE BY @dimlycraftyvision UNDER MY POST:
I am sorry but feyre actually made no effort to talk to her alone Even when she should have in acowar It was once in acofas but nesta knew Rhys was there and judging her In that blasted intervention she had to shout to ask others that she wanted to talk to her sister alone and wished elain was there About behaviour of hers, what I meant by being said than shown meant that the author did not do the right job to show feyre as victim but rather nesta as abuser when it was their parents, as meaner characters in other book series are better redeemed (Evangeline in Red Queen, Kaltain in ToG, Zoya in Shadow and Bone etc.) That despite leaving things on good terms in acotar, it was forgotten in acomaf and the sisters trauma of couldron (mostly nesta's) was forgotten in acowar and acofas We see the same pattern when nesta hugs rhysand at the end of acosf and saves all of his family's life but it is forgotten in hofas by nesta and rhysand alike Another example of weak writing is how feyre reacts to the hewn city when it is the OG UTM and how she forgives Rhys Another is when she says to lucien in acowar that no high lord or king would stop her to get to her sisters (a very powerful take) but she was just standing in acomaf when they were violated hence that take only turned out to be cringe I still stand by my first take about not helping in war because asking nesta to use the estate was same as forced enlistment in army or rather giving your details to a serial killer it IS morally grey leaning towards being realistic I do feel for feyre and what she suffered and I am sorry But again it is the poor writing, hypocritical narration mixed with unrealistic achievements that make her annoying to other people which makes them lean more towards people who have been wronged by the narrative Morally grey card is used to excuse feyre and IC's actions but not others' Though I still respect your views and hence will not engage in any further discussion
1. After having supported her family all her life and received only ungratefulness and abuse in return, Feyre owed Nesta nothing. She had done more than enough by keeping her family alive while she was the youngest, and just a kid. If anything, it was Nesta the one who should have initiated that conversation. And she kicked her out when Feyre came back to the NC. As for the minimal representation of their trauma in ACoWaR and ACoFaS, I think it was because, at that point, SJM was already planning to write Elainâs and Nestaâs own books, and she chose to leave those themes to be better explored there. But then, why is it that more and more is always expected from Feyre (empathy, effort, forgiveness) and almost nothing from Nesta?
Also, Rhysâs presence meant that Nesta couldnât attack Feyre like she usually did, since for once, Feyre had someone backing her up. And if she wanted so badly to talk alone, she could have just asked. That's a basic rule of human interaction.
2. While their parents were abusive, Nesta perpetuated that behaviour towards Feyre. It's a case of an abused person becoming an abuser. The faults of their parents explain but do not excuse/erase/justify Nesta's actions. And psychology supports this distinction. Again, Nesta's issues have real-life resonance precisely because they reflect this dynamic. Â
3. I was going to address this in the second post, but since you keep insisting on this matter... The series was originally planned as a trilogy. Originally, Nesta and Elain existed primarily to provide background for Feyre's arc. Their expanded role came later, when the author decided to write about them, showing that the narrative was adjusted to accommodate Nestaâs storyline, not the other way around.
4. I agree that Feyre forgives Rhys too easily at times. Iâm not sure what your point was with the comment about Hewn City, so I wonât reply to that. As for them not doing anything to help Nesta and Elain in ACoMaF, itâs worth taking into account that, on that occasion, their powers were blocked and Hybern's weren't: they couldnât act, otherwise Feyre would have done something. Because according to her previous behaviour toward her family, thatâs the closest deduction to the canon. Saying they simply didnât do anything is twisting and altering the canon to make Nesta look like a victim by putting other characters in a bad light. You can't expect to win a gun fight with only a knife.
5. Kaltainâs role before her grand gesture is minimal, and her behaviour doesnât impact Aelin the way Nestaâs impacted Feyre. If we want a ToG comparison, Chaol fits better. He received a redemption arc that didnât erase his mistakes, buth rather acknowledged them, and showed he learnt from them, even if it didnât make him universally likeable.
6. The comparison with her choice to help Bryce still stands. Why didn't she use the same reasoning in that case, then? She knew she once left people to die and that it was selfish of her, and she tried to do better, but always without acknowledging that she did wrong the first time.
7. If we are going to discuss unrealistic achievements, Nestaâs arc raises more questions. Feyre had some experience (hunting, archery), making her growth believable. Nesta, with less than a year of training, accomplished something most Illyrians spend their lives preparing for, and even passed a test they rarely succeed at. Calling Feyre unrealistic while excusing Nestaâs trajectory is inconsistent.
8. The âmorally greyâ label often becomes a blanket excuse for Nesta's actions. Her so-called redemption (giving up powers she was terrified of to save a mother and her newborn child) is framed as a major act of growth when itâs really the bare minimum of decency. Remember she stole those powers to prove how badass she was and then was scared of them, so giving them up sounds more like a reward than a sacrifice: she is finally freed from them, no need to fear them anymore. Her defiance of a magical force she barely understood reads as recklessness and hubris, not brilliance, by the way.
The major difference between Nestaâs and Tamlinâs actions - and those of other characters - is that their so-called âmorally greyâ choices arenât confined to a fantasy context but instead mirror real-life issues. Thatâs what makes it more difficult, and even problematic, to give them a free pass simply because theyâre traumatised.
8. Yes, ACoSF is poorly written. Yes, there were ways to give Nesta a more balanced redemption arc, but the author chose this one and thatâs the canon we have to analyse, not peopleâs personal interpretation of what could have been.
9. Once again, If someoneâs defense of Nesta requires tearing down or comparisons with other characters, that says more about the strength of their argument than about the text itself. My points are based on canon, not reinterpretations, and I only responded because the discussion came to me, not the other way around. Iâm also not interested in reading for the hundredth times takes on Feyre that are not even canon based.
To be clear, I donât take issue with people liking Nesta. Sheâs complex, and some readers resonate with her as a traumatised person who suffers and then gets back on her feet. What I object to is the apologism: the way her harmful behaviour is minimized or dismissed, by the author and her stans alike. That dismissal feels disrespectful to people whoâve experienced similar dynamics in real life. Acknowledging Nestaâs faults doesnât erase her depth; it simply treats her character with honesty.
Iâll be posting my full response to the other points raised in your comments to close this discussion, and also because I have already written it, but I donât intend to engage further.
I am open to discussion, but not when invalidating trauma is involved in any capacity.
As you can see, I have never denied that Nesta is traumatised herself, nor diminished the impact her mother's abuse had on her in any way.
Iâve made my stance clear, and Iâm basing it on whatâs actually in the text, not wishful interpretation. Feel free to skip my full response to the remaining arguments if youâre no longer interested in reading it.
