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He went after her like she was some sort of price to be won and did absolutely nothing to stop Hybern to transform her sisters. So i think by tearing his court apart, Feyre wanted to show Tamlin that she’s not what he thinks she is: someone that needs to be protected, that is happy to be taken aside just doing things inside the mansion, that doesn’t need to train her own powers even though they are growing stronger and hard to control, someone that would just accept everything he says or do.

But Feyre is none of those things and she wanted to show to Tamlin exactly what he was refusing to see in her.

Also the fact that Tamlin didn’t even noticed she was not sleeping well and not doing well after Under the Mountain just proves how blind he has become. Tamlin indeed loved Feyre way too much to the point he couldn’t notice how bad and toxic he was acting towards her.

While what Feyre did was obviously very short-sighted and petty, I do think it was a pretty believable choice given what was happening. At the end of acomaf, Tamlin has already allied with Hybern and jeopardized his own people. He allied with a foreign power that he KNEW wanted to enslave humans and destroy Prythian to get back a woman who had indicated multiple times that she was done with him.

While not directly Tamlin's fault, Feyre's sisters, whom she loves and wants to protect more than anything, are forcibly turned Fae by Hybern. Cassian and Azriel have both been mortally wounded, and Tamlin forcibly breaks the bond between Feyre and Rhys. Feyre is justifiably furious, and is trapped again with her abuser. She obviously should have considered the wider ramifications of destroying the court (specifically the spring court people, but also we don't know how much her actions affected them let's be clear), but it's also so cathartic to read about, and let's not pretend that she was unjustified in wanting to hurt Tamlin.

He says that he doesn't care if she and Rhysand are mates, that Feyre is his. She explicitly tells Tamlin that if he takes her, she will destroy him. 🤔

When she essentially manipulated the sentries (who I think are the Spring Court's version of an army??) into abandoning their high lord by doing nothing but proving that he cares more about himself and his appearance than them and their safety; she was being petty sure. But she...was also right. She was just showing them who he actually was, and they made up their own minds to leave. And if the sentries left, what makes you think the people weren't leaving either?

Either way, the Spring Court was vulnerable. But not solely because of Feyre's actions in acowar, but because Tamlin exposed them in acomaf and then did nothing to recitfy the situation. Tamlin is to blame for the downfall of the Spring Court. Not Feyre. Feyre just helped the people who lived there realize how vulnerable their high lord had made them. She proved that he doesn't have their best intrests at heart, and when it comes down to it, he will not protect them.

Feyre and Rhysand

Artist : frostbite.studios

Hey anon, sorry I didn’t even notice this ask, it turns out I have three unanswered asks to get to 😐.Anyways, I think the most interesting part of all of this is that they not only portray Cassian as a sort of “dumb jock” character, but also as a bit of a brute. He mainly lusts after Nesta and that’s about it. And again, Nesta pretty much makes up everything I hate in a person : an elitist that thinks she’s better than everyone else. Not only is Nesta terrible and abusive, but in fanon or “headcanons”, people go out of their way to make her behaviour ok. And once you make that behaviour ok, you get to a stage where you ignore the implications of shipping an abusive and toxic woman with a MOC who happens to be an overall good person (obviously after Acofas we learn more about Cassian’s past, but some view his behaviour as justified).

OH Anon thank you for this question.

I think there’s this thing happening in a lot of fandoms in which self-involved, obnoxious female characters are mistaken for ‘strong independent women’ or  feminist characters. 

Tamlin is essentially brought in as what the fandom expects to be the stereotypical love interest, a sensitive guy with a dark side who some people hope the main character leaves for a bad boy because he’s a lil boring. And so, when the series takes a turn and he begins to show abusive tendencies AND is called out in the books for it, and since people are now attached to Feyre, he becomes this absolute villain because he represents the type of man that is actually well known in our own society. He is emotionally abusive, ignores the signs of the damage that has been done to Feyre and keeps her trapped inside so he can keep an eye on her. So many people can clearly see that this male character is the worst™. And interestingly you’ve mentioned that his abuse towards Feyre wasn’t intentional, and that makes me think of a post on tumblr that I can’t currently find, but the gist of it was “Rhys and Tamlin are different because Rhys was raised away from his toxic father”. So that pretty much answers Tamlin’s abuse for me, because he is emulating what he knows. It doesn’t excuse it, but it’s a big factor in his behaviour.

Now, onto Nesta. My favourite thing the fandom likes to do with Nesta is say “If Nesta was a man, people wouldn’t judge her like they do” - bullshit. Since the start, my complaint had been that if Nesta had been Nesto, she’d be hated. If it had been Feyre’s older brother who let his family starve out of spite towards their father and sent his sister out to hunt for them and spent her money, a man who belittled Feyre and dragged her down at every turn, who slut shamed Feyre and made her feel worthless, this fandom would hold the male counterpart of this character up there with Tamlin.  Feyre’s love story with Tamlin was toxic and terrible, but an important factor in the relationship is that Feyre didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like when she met Tamlin. She had never been loved, full stop. In fact, before Tamlin, Feyre’s dream was for Nesta and Elain to leave and to live with her father. At this point, a lot of the fandom will say that Nesta wasn’t abusive, but I’m someone who has 3 siblings who can sometimes be quite ‘cold’ (as some people describe Nesta), but I have never wished they werent there? 

Nesta began the series as a self-centred, bitter person who looked down upon poor villagers and felt entitled to every penny that Feyre earned. Throughout the series, she has remained that way. She only looks out for her own interests, belittles everyone around her, treats people as though they are dirt - hell, she’d fit in with the Autumn court quite well. And as I said earlier, a major problem in the fandom is that for some reason, Nesta’s trauma has given her get out of jail free card when it comes to how she treats other people. “It’s the way she copes, she’s empty inside” - so was Feyre at the start of the series. And, since certain stans think that people judge Nesta because of the sleeping around and drinking, again - bullshit. On a personal basis, one of my favourite female characters is Wynonna Earp. Wynonna has had a lot of trauma in her life, from accidentally killing her father as a child, to being forced to kill her elder sister in adulthood. She was committed into a psychiatric facility, and went from foster home to foster home. As a teen and in her adult hood, Wynonna has slept around and has been drinking away her sorrows for years. And yet, she doesn’t take it out on the people around her. Nesta, on the other hand, wants everyone to leave her alone and get out of her life- and yet she uses other people’s money to do what she is doing. To me, Nesta is a very Regina Mills type character - quick to insult others, has a woe is me complex (not as in she whines, but as in she takes anything that doesn’t suit her as an attack), and she is extremely self centred. 

Nesta is mistaken to be a strong female character, and I don’t see her appeal. She’s the epitome of fake girl power, and since SJM is now also propping her up, she’s getting even more popular. She is one of Feyre’s abusers, and I’m uninterested in reading more about her because of this

I definitely agree that Rhys wouldn’t put up with it if not for Feyre. And personally I feel he should have a slightly louder voice about it.

But I also think that he doesn’t want to step in too much. Feyre’s agency is so important to him and I think he doesn’t want to influence her decision here.

All of this^^^

I just wanted to understand how Sarah can be so aware of how contradictory it is for Nesta to hate Feyre so much for absolutely nothing and not make her treat Feyre better in any scene. she is literally rude to Feyre all the time in acosf, while Feyre is kind and forgiving of everything Nesta does.

yk, there’s just no reasonable explanation for Nesta treating Feyre so badly.

if it was because Nesta had been cruelly raised by her family, she should have been mean to Elain too, but she never was. in this same book Nesta said that she would prostitute herself for Elain, but never thought to help Feyre. if it’s out of envy, since Feyre did everything Nesta didn’t and helped their father and family, why doesn’t Sarah make her get over her envy? why does Nesta not even think about it and all her hurt and pain is focused on her father?

it could be that Sarah thought that making Nesta not change her attitude, hating everything Feyre is a part of, not even tolerating the mention of her and hating all of her friends, would spoil Nesta’s “strong personality” and upset her fans. 

it seems like many Nesta fans can relate to her hatred of Feyre, but it’s pretty clear that Nesta doesn’t hate Feyre or the IC members, so Sarah wanting to please these fans is pointless. Sarah to keep Nesta having this attitude for an entire book and not having delivered a reasonable reason is equally pointless.

It was much easier for Sjm to spell out in full that Nesta hated Feyre because she was jealous (which goes without saying) or because Feyre was the biggest proof of her cowardice and she couldn’t bear to know that people like Mor/Amren had done so much more for Feyre than her own blood family (and that could explain why she didn’t like Rhys. Because not liking Rhys because he’s arrogant isn’t a good excuse either, since we’ve known since book 1 that Rhys is like that) .

Just assume you don’t like Rhys because he taught your sister to read when you admitted you didn’t even though you lived with Feyre for over ten years making fun of it

And it’s also okay that she doesn’t have the same feelings for Feyre that have been organizing Elain, sjm just didn’t need to try to convince me that family had to forgive each other at all costs and that nesta and Feyre had to be best friends. They didn’t.

For me: Nesta was jealous of Feyre and couldn’t bear to share anything with her, especially attention. She spent the entire book angry at Elain and Amren because in her selfish mind “you chose Feyre over me”. As if she should be the priority of these people and her sister who was always despised didn’t deserve anything.

For me, she went looking for people where she is the center of attention, because she knew she would never be the center of attention at IC, which is totally Feyre’s (with whom she doesn’t want to share anything). I don’t think it’s okay for her to make friends and connect with other people. The problem for me was how it was written. And for me the search for a family only makes sense in the development of Feyre who never had one or the support of one (which was never the case with Nesta).

i can't name one person who refuses to acknowledge that.

yes she was groomed. yes she was SAd.

but here's the thing:

that doesn't permit her to be abusive.

sjm is peddling this dangerous narrative that not only do victims become abusers, but that it's justified.

refusing to have nesta acknowledge her behaviour means saying it's okay. it doesn't matter if it's explicitly excused or not. not having her confront the abuse she dolled out and explaining it with "oh well she was abused." is excusing it.

and feyre is, quiet literally, a very kind and empathetic person, but people applaud aelin or bryce or nesta for being mean/having an attitude while calling feyre annoying or stupid.

the same goes for elain. she was the first to apologize to feyre, she's kind to the inner circle, and she's trying to fix her relationship with feyre now. meanwhile, nesta didn't even apologize and was unnecessarily mean and insulted people (and many more things.) but people praise her, saying "she could have been meaner, she's a badass," while calling elain boring or useless.