Just me,myself and I

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi

For one, I'd get my dental layout scanned and then use the 3d model of my teeth to commission a giant pair of pincers where the cutters are replaced with a life-sized metal recreation of my teeth. I would use these to press bite marks on all sorts of things that a human being physically could not bite into, and emotionally would not want to.

first of all i gotta say that it's not actually canon that he's from Illinois. the show is just "generic American small city" for his hometown and the fandom took context cues from other parts of the show and decided "Fuck it Illinois makes sense" and just kept that.

But I guarantee you, nothing about the show makes sense when you look at it too closely so take everything with a grain of salt. Yes I'm looking at you, Timeline.

the teenager in question is also kind of a ghost, hence part of the reason why the other ghosts are picking fights with him. He arguably picks a bunch of the fights himself.

it's not just the entirety of the Ghost Zone that get put into the antagonist role in the show either. Danny's other antagonists include:

A literal billionaire (who is also a ghost) (and gets himself elected mayor)

his parents (literally ghost hunters. who also fight the ghosts.)

a circus ringmaster with mind control and reality bending artifacts

Classmates at school who bully Danny

the closest thing we get to an adult who is on Danny's side is Mr. Lancer, who also supports the school bullies

the ghost who impersonated a school counselor and was literally in the role of Danny's therapist for a bit that one episode

A U.S. government agency

a girl he dates was actually being controlled by a dragon ghost and didn't actually want to date him. Have fun with that fallout kid.

the girl he dates for a bit who *wanted* to date him also shows up in costume to shoot him on sight.

his clone shows up and is supposed to be his enemy. he adopts her instead. yes those pronouns are all correct.

she's not really an antagonist but one of his best friends arguably kills him twice. once very much on purpose.

his other best friend and whatever happened in King Tuck.

like it's not enough that this show puts Danny (and friends) against the regular ghosts and the God-Like Being level ghosts and the literal Ghost Tyrant King guy

he can't even catch a break at home either

kid's literally surrounded by people deliberately or accidentally making his life harder, there are no safe Adults, there are barely any safe friends, and he is fourteen and half dead.

and his parents canonically want to rip his alter-ego apart "molecule by molecule" i am not kidding with that one.

Like they made us a sandbox of a Nickelodeon cartoon and just half assed it by grabbing a bunch of two-by-fours, nailing them together... and then sticking them on the beach.

and then people still get mad when the fandom shows up to build sandcastles and dig to china. Yeah, we know they didn't make it That Deep on purpose.

He's never safe.

Home, school, the zone, hanging out with friends, walking down the street, in anotger state; there is nowhere for Danny to go and be safe.

Most ghosts he's met (pretty sure everyone but Frostbite and Pandora), his parents, his friends, Vlad, Jazz; there is almost no one who has not at least once been his enemy.

Can you imagine living like that? At any moment of any day, anywhere he is anyone; even one or both of his best friends, his sister, his mom and dad; anyone could turn around and suddenly become someone he has to fight.

No, wait, hold on. There's a thought.

Y'know that common thing where we make Danny have a slower heart rate because ghost boi?

So, that's supposed to be true. As a halfa he should have a steady heart rate around 20bpm in both forms. And originally that was true after his body settled into its new healthy after the accident. But by the time anyone team Phantom thinks to actually check that stuff just in case, Danny is already Stressed™ 24/7, so they inaccurately judge his baselines to be in perfectly normal human ranges. Like, 70bpm at rest and 120 immediately after ghost fights.

The fandom gets creative because the show either deliberately or not, puts Danny in absolute batshit situations and tries to sell it to us as normal. He became evil in a timeline because he cheated on test once and it dominoed from there? Come on. The fandom basically takes the show apart (molecule by molecule) and comes up with insanely creative ideas to explain some of the trends

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.

And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.

But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???

Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.

The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.

This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.

Forgive my brain that went spiraling when I was having dinner...

Stiles hears the news about Derek's death. He is devastated, and PISSED that nobody told him earlier so he could attend the funeral... The man immediately heads back to Beacon Hills.

Shortly after he arrives, Stiles gets Eli. And they start spending a lot of time together. Suspicious long meetings that last hours and hours...

Peter notices and comes snooping around. Stiles eventually tells him.

Stiles: We're bringing Derek back. And before you say anything: I don't care what anyone thinks. He thought he was being a hero? Too bad. That was dick move! Eli needs him, and I—

Peter: You need any help?

And just like this, the three of them end up working together, trying to find a way to bring Derek back to the land of the living.

(And for the funsies:)

The more time Peter spends with Stiles and Eli, the more he notices similarities in their behavior. So much so that...

Peter: Are you sure he's Derek's son?

Eli: *starts growling*

Peter: Easy, kid. I'm just saying. You two are very much alike. It's kind of... disturbing.

Stiles: What do you mean?

Peter: I mean that if it didn't defy basic biology...

Stiles: What? You think Derek and I fucked and the guy got pregnant? That is beyond IMPOSSIBLE.

Peter: That he got pregnant, or that you fucked?

Stiles: ...

Peter: Stiles, did you fuck my nephew?

Stiles: No?...

Peter: Did you think about it?

Stiles: ...

Peter: Huh.

Eli: EEWWWWW

Evan "Buck" Buckley (9-1-1) & Mieczyslaw "Stiles" Stilinski (Teen Wolf)