A super long audio book with just silence and an “oh, out loud?” at the end

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo 

What tumblr fails to grasp is that I’m not interested in community groups for the things I like because fans of my favorite things are often very wrong about them

We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

You said it better than I could. Of all the inane and ridiculous things I've seen in my notes because of this post, "I NEED to say fuck you to strangers or I will literally die" is certainly one of them

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

don’t contact me. ever

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

i’m pursuing a career as a pastry chef and i enjoy making sweets for the people i love. if one more person starts waxing hysterical about the dangers of sugar and fat and calories in response to me making something nice for them i’m gonna become a real life batman villain.

like they almost always DO want the sweet in question, so it’s not a matter of disliking the gift. but they feel the need to perform this whole display of guilt and shame about it. and it’s super awkward and uncomfortable.

it’s not black tar heroin. it’s a cookie. i made it with love. it will not kill you. if you don’t want it that’s perfectly okay. but at least have the same grace and manners you would if you were rejecting any other gift, alright?

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

Whoever invented the phrase "like taking candy from a baby" has clearly never tried taking anything from a baby

Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.