Lottley

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

weather authorities reportedly issuing a severe "wednesday alert" for tomorrow

I can, and arguably I must.

I always think that sport events, especially international ones, are primarily about fun and cultural exchange and hanging out together; it gets lost sometimes when people pay too much attention to keeping scores, but joy and building bridges should be more important. So glad this seems to be happening right now!

one time my sister and i were walking up the stairs and heard a bunch of banging noises coming from an apartment, and she turned to me and said "aborted neighbor". and i was just like. i'm glad we're the same kind of terminally online and i know exactly what you are referencing because otherwise this would sound insane.

Man's about to turn you into the scene of a happy little accident.

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me there's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

Undulates anguilliformly at you to confuse and threaten you with my highly maneuverable body

Pangaea was wasted on the dinosaurs. Imagine the railway network.

The axe forgets. The tree forgets. The squirrels in the forest forget. Nobody remembers

a mere dutch angle is nowhere near enough to capture the depths of my insanity