idk

I feel like my time is coming. I think I'm done. I tried.

It's basically 2 am and I'm tired. But I don't want to sleep because if I sleep then it means I wake up at the start of a new day. I'm just tired of this and I'm done but what can I do, I have friends I would hurt and daughter that I get to see every other weekend that it might mess up so I have to keep going on. I'm tired of this shit man

It has been a while since I was last on here. Hoping that getting away would help but it hasn't. It's still hard to wake up each morning. "Sadness is nothing more than the cost of being able to smile once in a while" if only I could have a genuine smile every now and then. I'm so tired. Tired, the kind that sleep won't fix.

Part of me hopes something tragic happens this weekend. I hope I don't come back and it's not my fault, that it is just some random event and I can have my peace