just a vent blog ig

now that you're gone I'm going to choke on all the beautiful things you never were

i don't miss you. but I miss being the person who missed you

crazy how some people move on immediately and others are still stuck wondering what went wrong even years later

"you have abandonment issues" not true I'll have you know I'm very good at it

a 10+ hour screen time will help will definitely make you feel real again trust me bro

okay this whole life thing has been fun and all but now it can start feeling good, right? …right?

nah bro I'm definitely not crying. my eyes just get sweaty from the perceived abandonment

what they don't tell you about having a shitty childhood is that it never goes away. maybe you heal, maybe you learn to manage, maybe you cope better but it still fucking lingers

anyone else feeling constant dread at the thought of tomorrow or is it just me

actually living and not just surviving would do me good right now

"maybe you don't feel anything because you kept pushing your emotions down every time they showed up" FAKE NEWS

I'm at the point in life where I could stop pretending and nobody would care

"maybe in another universe" but it should have, could have, been this one

"why aren't you open with me?" *flashbacks to every time I've done that* idk man I guess that's just how I am