JJ

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.

never stop being obnoxious about fictional character online. you will find like-minded people and it will literally save you

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

once i read everything on earth then i think ill be prepared to write

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

Pangaea was wasted on the dinosaurs. Imagine the railway network.

"comrade in arms" yeah i bet he was in your arms. every night. fruit

I'm so fuckable, yet here I am unfucked.

Fuuuuck dude I got drunk last night and tried to take down the villain on my own and now he’s texting me some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ shit bro what do I do

Man he just yelled ‘I want him alive’ to his goons, it’s so over.

The bus is never coming because I don’t deserve it

Because I deserve to stay at home, cosy in my bed.