- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

Ever since then, my kitties make a POINT of sleeping in the border of my bed, to create a "bump" so If I EVER rolled over? I wouldn't fall. They even taught the ones that came after to do the same.

What I (foolishly) didn't expect is that she would keep teaching herself tasks to caretake me. She aggressively guards me when I catch an infection. If it's been too long since I've eaten, she will pester me until she watches me put food in my mouth. I had to train her out of trying to drag me to safety after fainting. Just wild things for a cat to choose to do.

So imagine my confusion this year when during the height of one of my scariest health episodes, this same cat is constantly acting up. It felt like she timed it to me finally being well enough to get out of bed. No matter what I was doing, this little grey cat would be right there: pacing, pestering, and absolutely demanding that I lie down to cuddle her. Cuddling isn't even her thing.

Amid trying to settle her, my symptoms would inevitably catch back up to me. So I'd just drag myself back to bed – and suddenly, she was an absolute angel again. And this cycle just kept repeating, seemingly without rhyme or reason. The only time my cat didn't start doing this was when my wifey was around.

Fast forward a couple months. I find out my migraine disorder has progressed (a thing untreated migraine can apparently do) to a rare form that sometimes mimic stroke (a collection of symptoms that can apparently happen outside of stroke). It's a huge relief, but one with big health considerations. Key among them, it means my migraines needed to urgently be detected, prevented, and treated due to the possibility of hemiplegia. So, I start the arduous process of logging my migraines, and aggressively treating any first signs of them.

My cat has continued bugging me during all of this. And while I'm venting about that and going over my migraine logging with my wifey, they suddenly stop me, point at a day I'd marked, and say, "Hey. Wasn't that one of the days she was really acting up?"

It was like a light bulb moment. We went over all our shared messages, cross referenced them with my logs, and yeah. Yeah, my cat had been bullying me for getting out of bed every fucking day I had a migraine. The only days she hadn't were when I'd spent the entire day with my wifey... the person that takes care of me and gets me to bed when my health gets bad.

TL,DR: my cat figured out what was making me sick before the doctors did, made it her job to alert me and enstate bedrest, and only takes a vacation when she knows somebody else can do the work.

BRITNEY SPEARS ...Baby One More Time (1998) | Stronger (2000)

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

This is a close up? A CLOSE UP YA JERK! A CLOSEUP!

A 22-month-old female scaredy cat tiger appeared to get the shock of her young life when she encountered a dead leaf floating on a pool of water in the Bandhavgarh National Park, India. Clearly unusure about just what was approaching her, the partially submerged youngster’s tail shot up in the air and with teeth bared she let out her most fearsome growl - all in an effort to scare the humble leaf away.