having to pay for parking at a hospital will always be fucking deranged to me. Sorry

in your 20s you must rediscover the joys of arts and crafts to stave off spiritual decay

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

this is the correct response btw

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i went nonverbal, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

there is always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit

*isolates myself* perfect! but why am i sad

*socializes* perfect! how do I get out of here

Wowww

She expanding my pipe till i turn off replies

my nails are so long I keep chipping them HELP

had the wildest interaction today some random woman called me a slag and my dog a fucking faggot because I was using a pink lead/harness and he’s a boy like what the fuck lmfaoo

he did start wagging his tail when he got called a fag so good for him <3

“The average US president has been charged with 1.56 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 72, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

The fact that you made this mathematically accurate made my tummy warm

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

This is the most accurate post on anxiety ever.