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You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.
what if an au, where robert is still mecha man but he has to take beef to the vet, and he ends up meeting a guy in the waiting room (who is there for a checkup for one of his cats). and they get to talking, and he found out that the guy’s name is chad. and they kind of bond over their love for their pets, and all the shenanigans that can happen when owning a dog or a cat.
and then, they start doing things like meeting up for walks (chad will rotate between which of his cats he brings with him on his routine walks to get them out of the house). and they slowly become friends (maybe even boyfriends) through these sort of meet ups.
meanwhile, you have the hero, mecha man, and the villain, flambae, who wears a sort of mask to hide his identity in this au, who utterly despise each other. but don’t know who the other person is. and they keep having to make up excuses to their boyfriend in their civilian life as to explain away any injuries they get.
one time, the two of them have to fight each other right before they are supposed to meet each other (in their civilian identities) for a date night.
and they weren’t expecting to have to fight that day, and neither of them are really all that happy about it.
and flambae is like “don’t you dare ruin my hair, mecha-bitch. I have a date tonight.” and lo and behold his hair gets messed up. and he was literally fuming about it for the entire rest of the fight.
and mecha man also comments on how he can’t be late for his date, so he’s going to wrap this fight up quick. and he gets more and more antsy to just finish the fight every time he checks the time and it gets closer and closer to when he’s supposed to meet his boyfriend.
and when the fight is finally over, and the two of them hurriedly rush to fix themselves up before the date. and they both end up saying how they had a “crazy day” but end up relaxing together after unknowingly beating each other in their respective hero and villain identities.
imagine, though, the both of them thinking about each other while doing their respective hero and villain things.
flambae is off keeping watch over a villain operation that involves bringing in shipments as "extra security in case some goody-shoes hero shows up" and he's very bored the whole time. so, he pulls out his phone, and starts looking at photos of him and his cats. and he gets to a photo of robert laying on his couch with his cats curled up on him, all of them fast asleep. and he starts grinning softly at the sight while his hair gently turns to flames and is subtly forming little hearts.
mecha man is on patrol, looking for any suspicious villain or rogue gang activity. and he's tired and trying to keep himself up. so, he eventually decides to fill the silence by playing some songs from the playlist that chad gave him. and every so often, a certain song comes on, and he just thinks to himself "this song is so him". and he can't help but smile a little to himself.
more robert doing karaoke please? he needs to put that voice to good use
Friday nights at Heroes' Tap are, somehow, louder than all the other days of the week combined.
Not just because of the bartenders shouting over each other behind the counter, or because of the overlapping conversations from drunk customers packed throughout the room, or even because the karaoke stage attracts every off-duty hero within a hundred-mile radius who secretly believes they were born to headline sold-out stadium tours.
It's because everyone walks through those doors carrying the relief of having survived another workweek.
It's become the Z-Team's unspoken tradition to meet up at the end of every Friday and catch up after work. They usually end up at the Chili's closest to SDN, grabbing drinks, sharing appetizers, and complaining about clients, that week's missions, terrible dates, and whatever else comes up. Over the past few weeks, though, they've started hopping between different bars just to keep things interesting.
This Friday's destination is Malevola's pick.
She'd pitched Heroes' Tap as the perfect place for the whole team: close to SDN, spacious, surprisingly cheap for the portion sizes, with good drinks, good food, and — most importantly — karaoke.
What Mal either forgets to mention, or simply doesn't think is worth mentioning, is that the entire place is themed.
Every booth is dedicated to a different legendary hero, decorated with framed magazine covers, vintage promotional posters, replica gear sealed behind acrylic displays, and painfully cheesy motivational quotes pulled from old interviews covering the surrounding walls. There was a booth for Vitalia, another for Trackstar, a brand-new one celebrates Blonde Blazer...
...and tucked against the back wall beneath glowing blue neon lights, sits the Mecha Man Blue booth.
Despite the name, it also features magazine clippings and memorabilia honoring both of Mecha Man Blue's predecessors: Mecha Man Prime and Mecha Man Astral.
Robert looks at it once, then immediately looks away.
"No."
That's all he says after Flambae suggests they sit there.
Which, naturally, means Flambae spends the next five minutes insisting.
"Oh, come on, Robbo," Flambae teases, already slipping an arm around Robert's neck and steering him toward the booth.
"No," Robert repeats, digging in his heels as if that somehow keeps Flambae from dragging him closer to the obnoxiously eye-catching display.
"It'll be fun."
"For who?" Robert asks.
He's already halfway defeated by the time they stop in front of the booth dedicated to his alter ego.
The rest of the Z-Team trails behind them, grinning from ear to ear while throwing their own teasing comments Robert's way, each person enjoying the situation to a different degree.
Eventually — and mostly because Flambae has already claimed a seat and outright refuses to move — Robert lets out that long, familiar sigh through his nose.
"...Fine."
Victory.
Sweet, petty, completely meaningless victory.
Once everyone finally squeezes into the oversized booth, drink orders are already being shouted across the table, someone has stolen the song catalog from another booth, and Robert settles into the seat at the very end with all the enthusiasm of someone reporting for jury duty.
Just looking at his expression is enough to make every second of teasing worth it.
Flambae can't stop smiling from his side of the booth.
Every now and then, while conversations bounce around the table and baskets of fries disappear at an alarming speed, he steals another glance toward Robert.
Just because.
Robert wasn't shooting him angry glances anymore. That phase had passed. Now he wore that peculiar expression of resigned tolerance that Flambae has learned to translate, roughly, as: I am choosing peace... even though you still annoy me.
Robert absently taps his fingers against the side of his cocktail glass, keeping time with whatever song someone is butchering onstage. The movements are almost imperceptible, tiny taps against the condensation collecting on the glass.
Flambae fights back another smile.
He still isn't entirely sure why, but watching Robert simply exist after being thoroughly annoyed by him is strangely rewarding.
He tries not to stare too much while chatting with everyone else, though every few minutes his eyes drift back toward the dispatcher anyway.
However, after getting distracted for a little over ten minutes talking with Alice about the newest episodes of Love Island, Flambae glances back toward Robert's seat and finds it empty.
He frowns.
Robert's drink was still there.
So was his jacket, neatly folded over the seat.
Only Robert himself has disappeared.
Probably the restroom, Flambae figures.
Or maybe he's grabbing something to eat.
Or maybe he's trying to escape before someone talks him into singing karaoke.
That thought, carried along by the opening notes of the next song echoing through the bar, earned Flambae a quiet snort of amusement.
But then—
"Clock strikes upon the hour..."
Flambae barely registers the opening lyric to one of his all-time favorite songs. In fact, the first thing he notices isn't even the song.
It's the voice.
It slices cleanly through the overlapping conversations filling the team's booth.
For one long second, his brain refuses to connect that voice to anyone.
Because it can't possibly belong to—
"...And the sun begins to fade..."
His smile disappears before he even understands why, and he slowly turns in his seat.
Around him, the rest of the team does the same.
The karaoke stage sits across the room beneath shifting spotlights that wash everyone in flashes of pink, purple, and blue.
Robert is standing beneath them.
One hand holds the microphone, while the other rests casually in his trouser pocket.
To almost everyone at the table's surprise, there isn't the slightest trace of embarrassment in his posture. No stiffness. No hesitation. No second thoughts.
"Still enough time to figure out... how to chase my blues away..."
Robert keeps singing, occasionally glancing up at the lyrics scrolling across the monitor above him.
Flambae can only stare.
The man onstage looks nothing like the dispatcher he sees every weekday — the one who somehow manages to make even the simplest sentence sound dry and indifferent. This Robert stands beneath the lights singing Whitney Houston as naturally as if he'd done it a hundred times before.
Something twists pleasantly in the pit of Flambae's stomach as he remembers Robert making fun of him for suggesting Whitney that night at The Sardine.
That bitch thinks he's better than me, Flambae thinks.
And yet...
Something about the way Robert carries himself onstage — so unfamiliar, so unexpectedly captivating — keeps Flambae from feeling genuinely annoyed.
Robert's voice has always earned plenty of shameless comments from the team, but hearing him sing is something entirely different. It doesn't sound anything like the voice over comms, always calm, measured, authoritative. It's the voice that issues orders, gives directions, and keeps everyone on track.
When the chorus arrives, Robert finally looks away from the lyrics and out toward the crowd scattered across the bar.
A relaxed smile settles onto his face as he sings the chorus from memory, his shoulders now moving subtly with the beat.
No, he isn't exactly a great dancer. But he has rhythm. And he looks like he's genuinely enjoying himself.
"I wanna feel the heat with somebody..."
Robert's gaze drifts toward the booth where the rest of the Z-Team is sitting.
"Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody... With somebody who loves me..."
His voice isn't shrill. It isn't the kind that demands silence simply by being loud.
Instead, it slips effortlessly over the backing track, soft enough to blend with the music instead of competing against it.
There's an unmistakable tenderness woven into every lyric. Something that keeps Flambae frozen in place, eyes locked on Robert, lips slightly parted ever since his jaw quietly dropped.
The triumphant satisfaction he'd been carrying ever since forcing Robert into the Mecha Man Blue booth evaporates so quickly it almost embarrasses him.
"I need a man who'll take a chance... on a love that burns hot enough to last..."
Right there.
Flambae swallows hard because he could swear Robert sings that particular line while looking directly into his eyes.
"So when the night falls..."
Robert pauses just long enough for another smile to spread across his face.
"My lonely heart calls..."
People are clapping now as Robert launches into the second chorus. The entire bar erupts, voices joining in with unmistakable enthusiasm as nearly half the room sings along to the timeless classic.
Everyone...
Except Flambae.
He's still trying to process the version of Robert standing on that stage. So unlike the man he'd convinced himself he knew. Confident, radiant, with laughter hidden beneath certain vowels. Tiny lifts in his voice whenever he gets carried away by a favorite line without even realizing it.
And before Flambae knows it, he catches himself wondering...
How many other versions of Robert exist outside office hours?
How many sides of him has Flambae never seen?
And—
What would it be like to know them?
The thought lingers long after the final chorus ends. Long after Robert lowers the microphone. And long after applause ripples across the bar.
It isn't until the Z-Team suddenly erupts into deafening cheers and whistles that Flambae's tunnel vision finally shatter, reality crashing back into place all at once.
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So most of us know about the concept art tramp stamp, right? If not, here it is in all its glory pictured below:
Anyway, Flambae doesn’t have this in game. I’ve got a little post-canon Mechabae scenario brewing in my head, though.
It’s canon that Flambae designed his own suit, and he’s definitely proud of his work, but he’s not immune to wanting to change things up a little and add a bit more flair. So, let’s say Flambae’s suit gets substantially damaged in a fight. It would take so much mending that Flambae might as well just make a whole other suit.
SDN’s been covering suit repair since he joined the Phoenix Program, and this time he brings a new design to the costume department. It’s almost identical to his previous design, but there is one key difference:
The tramp stamp.
It’s not a super big change, so it goes unnoticed by some people. Those who do notice don’t tend have much to say about it, and, if they do, they wouldn’t say it to Flambae’s face. Visi makes a remark when she sees it, though, and Prism compliments her bestie’s design choice.
Robert doesn’t say anything, but he definitely notices.
He may or may not have made a habit of stealing glances at Flambae. Especially his backside, though a bit more shamefully. So, when he spots the stamp, he nearly chokes on his coffee. Robert had perfected avoiding being caught by Flambae at that point, but he failed to account for being caught by other people in the office, namely, Prism.
Prism is tired of their shit already. Flambae keeps fumbling every opportunity via deflection and self-sabotage, and Robert seems to have taken that as a sign not to make a move. Therefore, she decides to take matters into her own hands by giving Robert a bit of a push.
“You know, he has an identical tattoo under the suit.”
The mug cracks in Robert’s hand.
Prism get’s a morning-after freakout text from Flambae within a week.
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free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england
everyone tits out with a parasol is such a beautiful world to imagine that the fact it doesnt currently exist fills me with equal parts fire and misery
Step one: use hall bathroom instead of master bathroom, notice that Builder Beige switchplate is horrid with lovely new purple walls. Take it down and wash it thoroughly.
Step two: dig out stash of old seed catalogues saved for this purpose. Get super crabby because you can't find the Mod Podge anywhere. Give up, then have daughter find it immediately, in the "glue box" you forgot you created.
Step three: decide on a color scheme, and start cutting. I asked @phantomtheraccoon if we should coordinate or contrast and she cleverly said both.
Step four: collect your flowers and fiddle with layout.
Step five: paint item with Mod Podge, place your images, and paint them again. Leave to dry, which honestly doesn't take long.
Step six: trim edges add cut out holes. I didn't actually cut out the screw holes; I just cut little X's there for the screws to go through. Worked fine to put it up, we'll see someday how it survives taking it apart again.
Step seven: coat everything with Mod Podge at least one more time, paying special attention to edges. Dry elevated on something (say, the top of the Mod Podge bottle) so it doesn't stick down.
Step eight: okay, wow, that's awesomer than expected!
Ooh, yes, I should decorate my light switch plates here, even if I can't bring myself to do all the painting. I used to have a Lumos/Nox one I made very hastily when I was first renting and it made me happy every time I used it. Light switch plates are such an easy, cheap way to decorate when your space is temporary (they're like a dollar at home improvement stores and very simple to replace with the original when you move out), highly recommend this kind of craft.
Yes to this addition. They're so cheap! Just do something, and then you will enjoy it every time you use it! Do something crappy! You can redo it later. This is such a low-risk/high reward project.
They had us do this in Girl Scouts! It's such a wonderful activity for kids too, and a great way to have them contribute to the house. My mother still has my sister and mine up and in use.
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