25-35 is such a weird fucking age because youāre 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like āok boomerā because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like āIām not going to listen to a literal fucking childā as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you donāt have and youāre sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because youāve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomerās store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasnāt worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and youāre trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesnāt know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

























