@gayscantslicetomatoes I feel like it’s time for him to get a letter from Harry?

I saw the first version of that thing and was like "WDYM $80 I COULD MAKE THAT... wait... that seems fun I want to make that! "AND I DID. They then started having a million ever so slightly different from each other versions of it which was extremely irritating to someone trying to copy it, and I drove myself up a wall trying to cut those arrows out perfectly, but I think it came out really good. (Louie🐈 for scale I guess, he wanted in)

and shane is like “um not really. we live in ottawa and we’re mostly on the road for work.” and devon *polite and clueless* says “oh cool. what do you do?” “uh we play hockey.” “oh you’re hockey players? like professionally? sorry, i don’t really know anything about hockey. i’m a software engineer.” and shane sips his little ginger ale and is like “oh, that’s cool.” and devon is like “i mean not really, i don’t love it. i keep meaning to try for some kind of horizontal promotion or something… what i really like is woodworking but there isn’t a lot of money in that.” and shane is like “oh no shit you’re into woodworking? like you’ve got a home shop and everything?” and devon is like “yeah it’s a sweet little garage set up :) i actually started a website, just so i could show my family backin the states my stuff…”

until eventually ilya and gabby have exhausted their list of erotic maneuvers and the point where shane and or devon is meant to cut in has long since passed and ilya is like “ah. please excuse me i should… go find my husband…” and gabby is like “…yeah me too….” and then they find shane and devon not even paying any fucking attention huddled by a wall

Offspring by little_obelia

Harry is thirty and hungover and just shaved all her hair off and Louis is thinking of a last minute birthday present.