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i love seeing really gay dan and phil clips from before they came out where the top comment is 'how did we not know' like ? we rather famously did know, actually. it's kind of the main reason we ended up here

The crazy thing about The Ranch Monologue™️ is that Dan is using them to explain how perfect ranch is. He tastes ranch and thinks “this is such a perfect combination of flavors” and in his brain the best way to explain to Phil how much he likes it is to say “it’s just like US”. He’s not using ranch as a metaphor for his relationship he’s using the relationship to explain how perfect the ranch is.

there’s not a mfer in this world I’ve ever respected more than 2009 dan. that was a mastermind. a man on a mission. he had one shot and he knew he had to take it. now he walks into the kitchen of the forever home he shares with the subject of “did you ever doubt your dream would come true” and gets greeted with “hello you stupid bitch”