Little Dear Anne

OP is absolutely correct. If you think you know which cup is 1/3 cup and which is 1/4 cup after the marks are gone just by glancing at it, you are wrong. You will be digging out every measuring cup you own and stacking them together like a toddler toy and doing weird math in your head.

I know this because it happened to me. I've been baking since the 1970s. I've been baking unassisted since the 1980s. I bought a measuring cups/spoons set in the 90s. It was my first complete set purchased on my own. And one day I saw that two of the cups no longer had their markings on them. Eventually they all lost their markings. They are chaos incarnate.

(since I can't throw things away, I still have them; I use them as scoops in places like the big rice bag or the flour canister. But we do not measure with them.)

When my eldest kiddo went to college I offered any of the sets of measuring cups/spoons from the kitchen, except the blank ones. And that became the lesson; only buy the kind with engraved/raised relief measurements on them.

“The only difference between a fairy tale and a sea story is that a fairy tale starts with ‘once upon a time’ while a sea story begins with ‘this ain’t no shit’”.

At one point I said, "Dude. You were raised Catholic, for fucks sake. Do you not remember how to perform an Act of Reconciliation?"

He did not. He thought that saying he was a bad person was all that was required. So I reminded him:

Admit that you did something wrong.

Explain that you understand what you did wrong and that you are sorry you hurt someone with your choices.

Make a plan to reconcile with the person you hurt. What can you do to make it up to them? What will mend the broken trust, or restore the damage?

Sometimes step 3 becomes "leave the offended party alone." Accept that you might not be able to reconcile.

The reason why this process was codified into a religious ceremony was to teach this practice!!

It's not a "what you are" conversation, it's a "what you did" conversation.

And here's the best presentation about it:

I’m Australian. Sure, we do have those doors, but the vast majority of places in Sydney are automatic sliding doors or old-fashioned manual push/pulls because we don’t need to block out the cold and wind the same way here.

So every day I experienced a culture clash with something as basic as what doors were normal for me.

It has come to my attention that some of you have never seen what I firmly believe to be the greatest music video of all time: Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart. It is the perfect marriage of a galactically bombastic power ballad and a writhing mass of 1980s video clichés, thrown into the path of a wind machine and blasted down a moodily lit corridor into the realm of legend.

In case you’re wondering what the heck they were thinking of when they made it, I remember Bonnie once explaining on TV that it’s about the dreams of a headmaster’s daughter, hence all the boys in (and out of) uniform. In retrospect, the whole shebang is quite fascinatingly female gaze-y, and I’m pretty sure it was a major formative influence on my pubescent imagination.

this is the most tumblrified man to have ever existed

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Her book had another great lesson/section that really stayed with me (which i will paraphrase here because i read it a long time ago, but the essence is the same). It went something like:

"You decide to write. So you sit down at your desk and you get out some paper, a pencil and pen, turn on your computer. Then you stare off into space for 20 minutes. You type a sentence and delete it. You pick up your pen to outline, but you wind up doodling. You decide a cup of tea will help.

Back at your desk, you take a sip of tea and start writing. After a paragraph, you stop to think. Your mind wanders. You notice an ache, and wonder if you have a life threatening condition. You stare out the window. You read the paragraph you have written. You re-write the paragraph. You read it again. You delete the paragraph. Your tea is cold, so you get up and re-heat it.

At your desk again, you start over, but stop after a couple minutes. It has been three hours. You have written one sentence.

Your friend calls you. You answer and tell them you cannot talk because you are busy. They ask what you are doing and you reply "writing".

Because you are. This is part of the process, and you have spent three hours doing it. The pages that will come later would not happen without this. You have spent your morning writing."