I twiddled with my totem while Arthur explained the plan.
“Ariadne’s alarm clock will go off, and the kick will come,” he said, and Ariadne blushed. Ever since the Fischer mission, it had been almost hard to watch them as they struggled to talk to each other. I didn’t know the full story, but Ariadne refused to tell me what had happened inside Fischer’s dream.
The group was dismissed, and I walked back to the room I’d been working in. My feet felt heavy on the carpeted floor as my stomach churned with dread. The plan was solid, and we’d succeeded under worse conditions, but this mission was weighing on me with each passing day.
Back in my dark office, mountains of files crowded my laptop. I’d been helping gather info on our most recent target, some tycoon who planned to liquidate all his assets and move to Dubai. I guess Arthur’s brother, Eddie, worked for him and was aiming for a promotion. He didn’t want to lose his job after working up to such a prestigious position, so Arthur talked to Cobb, and they got a team together to fix everything. They’d planned to convince Eddie’s boss to keep his business running and to even put in a good word for Eddie.
I sighed heavily and settled in to work, knowing I wouldn’t leave this spot until I was ready to pass out on the uncomfortable cot across the room. While illegally reading through an online ledger associated with the tycoon’s company, I absentmindedly grabbed at the hard candy in a jar on my desk, but there were no more. I huffed and kept working.
My eyes blurred in and out of focus as I fought my sleep. I had to find something useful before morning, or Cobb would be pissed. I didn’t want to cry, but frustration got the better of me, and I began wiping tears from my eyes as they fell against my will.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Hello? Y/N?” Eames’ voice came muffled through the door. Startled, I rubbed at my eyes in hopes of getting all the moisture off.
“Come in,” I called quietly, but my voice was a bit rough from going so long without speaking. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. I refused to look away from the screen.
“Do you not like lights? It’s so dark in here,” he complained, and I rolled my eyes.
“Did you come in here to whine about the ambience, or do you need something from me?” I asked impatiently. Eames threw up his hands in defense.
“Apologies, erm…” he began, “I came to give you these.” He handed me another stack of files to look through, and I groaned.
“Yeah, I figured you’d say that,” he chuckled, and shoved his hand in his pocket.
“So I brought this as well… as sort of a piece offering.” In his hand, Eames held a bag of red and yellow hard candies. I took the bag hesitantly.
When I didn’t respond, he said, “Well, you know, I just thought, because you ran out– well, I saw you ran out of them earlier, so I grabbed them at the store when I was out…”
“Thank you,” I said, hoping he’d see my grateful smile by the light of the computer in front of me. “But you could’ve given me all of this in the morning. Why are you awake? And how did you know I would be?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too annoyed– I wasn’t at all, just confused. Eames cleared his throat.
“Well, you always look pretty exhausted in the morning– sorry, that was rude, I didn’t mean any offense. Also, you chug coffee like crazy during the day. I figured you’re up at night, is all.” I felt a twinge of embarrassment. Did I really look that sleep deprived?
“Okay,” I said slowly, “but that doesn’t explain why you’re up.”
“Both of us are night owls, Y/N, I just hide it better.” He laughed at this and flicked the light on.
“Oh!” I yelped, and ducked my head immediately.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Are you okay?”
But now he was looking at me with more intention. He bent down a bit and peered into my eyes.
“Have you been crying? Your eyes-”
“I know, it’s really not a big deal, I’m just tired.” But Eames didn’t seem convinced. He scoffed and then sat himself on the edge of the desk. Silently, he picked up the bag of candies and opened it. We each took one and sucked on them without speaking for a while.
“What’s got you so upset? If you don’t mind my asking,” he inquired gingerly. I shrugged, but he remained still, awaiting a proper answer.
“Fine,” I conceded, “I’m just frustrated. Cobb’s been on my ass about getting some info on this guy, and I’ve hit nothing but dead ends all night. He’s totally going to lay in on me in the morning.” Eames shook his head.
“Cobb lays in on everyone. It’s in his nature. Besides, everyone’s been struggling with this mission lately. This guy’s got no easily visible weaknesses– that’s not your fault.” I shrugged again, unsure of what to say.
“Is there anything else on your mind?” he pressed. I hesitated. I couldn’t tell him about my reservations over going into the dream. What if he was just planning to tell Cobb and Arthur everything? Then they’d have perfect reason to kick me off the team.
“Come on,” he said, nudging my shoulder. “I know we aren’t incredibly close, and it can’t be easy being the youngest member on the team, but I’d like to think I can trust you to let me know when something is wrong.”
I picked up my totem and turned it over and over between my fingers. It was a fake shark tooth that I’d taken off a souvenir necklace from Florida. Nothing incredible like Cobb’s wedding ring totem, but I’d bought it on the last vacation I would ever take with my family. I couldn’t part with it.
“I just feel like,” I began, trying to stop the shaking in my voice, “something isn’t right with this whole thing.” If Eames planned to tell anyone, it didn’t matter at this point. He’d still seen me looking like a total mess. That would probably be enough to prove to Cobb and Arthur that I wasn’t cut out for this. Maybe it would be for the best.
“I mean, last time, with Fischer, we all cut it really close,” I continued. “And I know I never told anyone this, but for a long time after that dream, I felt really sick.” Eames, who had kept his head down, listening, jerked his head up quickly. His eyes urged me to continue.
“At first I thought it might have been jet lag or something, but it got worse. I would get a fever every time I fell asleep. Sometimes I’d wake up and feel like my skin was melting off my bones. I don’t know how to explain it. But it only ever hurt me when I was sleeping.”
Eames was silent for what felt like many minutes, and I squirmed with discomfort. Finally, he squatted down to meet me at eye level as I sat in my chair. I was taken aback by the concern in the creases of his eyes.
“Y/N. You should have said something sooner. Especially to Arthur.”
“I didn’t want you guys to think I wasn’t capable. I’m not weak, and I’m not stupid. I deserve to be here. If I’d said anything to Arthur, he wouldn’t have let me help.” Eames sighed and looked away.
“If we don’t tell them, something could happen-”
“Eames, please. Please don’t tell them.”
“Y/N, they told you that getting sick isn’t a good sign. More dreaming could put you in the hospital. And how would they treat you? You can’t even tell them anything. ‘Oh yeah, I strapped myself to a magic briefcase, fell asleep, and went into someone else’s dreams, but now my skin feels like it’s falling off.’ They would send you to a psych ward.”
I rolled my eyes and made to stand up.
“Hey,” Eames started. “You’re strong. And smart. And capable. Nobody thinks anything otherwise. Especially not me.” Back in my seat, I began to blush. Gently and encouragingly, Eames held my forearms and rubbed my them with the pads of his thumbs.
“But it’s just not safe for you to come inside with us,” he finished.
“But what am I supposed to do if I can’t dream?” I asked.
“I can talk to Arthur with you. We will figure something out. I promise, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon if I have any say in it.”
His wide smile matched my own, and in a moment I was kissing him. His hands slid up to my shoulders and behind my neck. I reached into his hair and giggled into the kiss.
After a few moments, Eames pulled away and put his forehead to mine.
“Alright, now that I’ve betrayed all my feelings for you, I should leave so you can get some rest.” I nodded and tried not to look too disappointed. At least I’d see him tomorrow.
At the door, he turned back to face me. “Truly, you have nothing to worry about. everything will me squared away soon,” he assured me. I nodded.
“Also,” he continued with a cheeky smile on his face, “I’d love to take you out some time. We’ll stay up all night how you like to– just not cooped up in this place, alright?”
“Alright,” I repeated. And with that, he was gone.
I know Eames had told me to sleep, but cheesy excitement got the better of me. I could only imagine the amused smile on his face when he watched me drink copious amounts of coffee the next morning.
