Give Him That Specific Arthur

I think at the end when Neil said “we get up to some stuff” he meant ‘ we’re gonna fall in love’

here's a secret: whatever you're doing, you have to root for your peers with all your heart because it forces you to root for yourself too. I've seen people in various spheres of my life (workplaces, education, art, activism) fall into the trap of envy and resentment when they see others succeed while they struggle, and it always always goes hand in hand with them pulling back and giving up and stagnating.

"the feeling of shame, therefore, is not triggered by how others view ourselves (this is better understood through the concept of reputation) or how we view ourselves (this is better understood through the concept of self-esteem) but rather by our own negative judgment regarding how we want others to view ourselves. it is a complex form of self-consciousness whereby an individual a) is conscious of being seen as X and b) forms a negative judgment regarding what it is to be seen as X. this follows even in cases where the individual does not think of herself as X, for what is important is that she not want to be seen by others in this way ... this also follows in cases where "being seen as X" is not—from the point of view of the audience—a negative judgment. for example, velleman argues that sometimes "[w]e keep something private not because we fear disapproval of them but rather because we fear approval of a sort that we would experience as vulgar or cheap" and would result in a feeling of shame. my self-presentation can be compromised by approval if i do not want approval of the sort offered. shame always involves a negative judgment but the negative judgment is that of the individual who feels the shame and not of that individual's audience—i can disapprove of your positive view of me if i consider your opinion contemptible."