Many CSA survivors have complicated feelings towards their abusers and can simultaneously hate them and care about them, even when they know that what their abusers did was bad. Some CSA survivors are in denial of the abuse, thinking that it wasn't "that bad" or believing it didn't happen at all, and they need to process this at their own pace. Btw, these are just two examples, there are many more reasons why a person wouldn't be comfortable with others threatening their abuser.

Ofcourse there are survivors who are ok with others saying violent things about their abuser, but unless you know that the person you're talking to is ok with that, don't do this. It can cause alot of stress, anxiety, dissociation, etc.

For a bit of context: I'm an alter in a CDD system. I'm a child part (internally representing a 3yo) and a trauma holder.

Lately there have been more memories resurfacing. I'm actively repressing those memories right now, because if I allow myself to look into it, it could reveal something horrible. It could mean that one of the people (or maybe more) I trusted my whole life and still live with is actually not someone who should be trusted and did horrible things to us.

I want to know what happened, but it could get us into danger because the emotional impact could be too much and make us dissociate severely or even self destructive and/or if the (potential) abuser becomes aware that I know about it they could threaten us.

I don't know what to do, because the memories keep coming up in my mind and I don't want to be in danger. Maybe I should stay with someone else for a while so I can process the memories more easily. If anyone has any advice please let me know (no pressure).

I (☁️) was the first to remember it in the system, but since we have low amnesia barriers the other parts are aware of it too now. Most other parts deny that it negatively affected us or they say "it's not that bad", but I think that's normal for them because their job is to be dissociated from this.

I'm discussing the memories with one of our psychologists today! It's really scary for me to confront the trauma, but it's necessary and it'll help me.

child sexual parts.

sweet as a 1/4th cup of sugar Some extras below the cut!