Your goth father

no but that's a different way of reaching blue than the normal way. rather than being pigmented, the physical material structure of the feathers is made up of effectively a keratin sponge full of small air pockets, and when white light strikes those pockets, most wavelengths of visual light cancel each other out, while blue is able to reflect and escape the structure.

so if you really fucked up a Bluejays feather what colour would it be

The natural pigmentation of blue jay feathers is brown, though I suppose it depends on how you fucked it up. I suspect that, being made of keratin, it would be an off-white if you were to grind it into a fine enough powder (speculation because I don't want to do research it's like midnight).

dont talk to me if you don’t know that this, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight! Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed! It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb! That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. Now! Serviceman Burnside! What is Newton’s First Law?

An object in motion stays in motion Sir!

No credit for partial answers, maggot!

Sir! Unless acted upon by an outside force, sir!

Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty! Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going till it hits something. That can be a ship. Or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years! If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone’s day, somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your damn targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not “eyeball it!” This is a weapon of mass destruction! You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip!

Well, that was bracing. 😄

I AM SO ANGRY AMETHYST IS RESISTENT TO THE OCCASIONAL BATH BUT THE GEODE CRUST CERTAINLY ISN’T LITERALLY MINERALS BREAKING DOWN BY BEING PULVERIZED WITH HOT WATER IS HOW GEODES FUCKING CRYSTALIZES IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YOUR TAKING A GEODE THAT BIG AND TURNING IT INTO THE PERMANANT WATER CONTAMINATE AND BACTERIAL CESS POOL THAT IS A SINK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU NEVER GONNA USE TOOTHPASTE OR FUCKING SOAP SO IT DOESN’T EAT A HOLE THRU THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FUCKING SINK YOU GODDAMN GOON WHY DON’T YOU JUST MAKE A STOVE OUT OF CARDBOARD OR A DOOR OUT OF TISSUE PAPER??? WHY DONT YOU MAKE PIPES OUT OF FUCKING SMARTIES CANDY OR TABLE LEGS OUT OF PLAY DOUGH FUCK YOU BUDDY IF I WALKED INTO A PLACE AND HAD TO CLEAN A BATHROOM AND SAW THAT SHIT I WOULD BREAK YOUR FUCKING SKULL OPEN WITH A STEEL PIPE

I’m guessing you’re a geologist?

do u guys wanna see the best picture of fish i ever took

i like the term “gallows humor” because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like “i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution”

I am going to get a good grade at my public execution, something that is both reasonable to want and possible to achieve.

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

broæthër no....

what does oh d fuckin abbot even MEAN

very important, as is to my knowledge first attested instance of word ‘fuck.’ (it’s older, it’s just usually censored in some way)