One Day At A Time

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

The Family owns Central Park and sometimes lives there

We have seen a canon!Female Pugsley

Pugsley’s first word was “Help”, after Wednesday threw him down a trapdoor

Gomez went to Law School and actually somehow passed and also doesn’t know what the fifth amendment is

Morticia was in an arranged marriage to some guy but Lurch accidentally caused his death via toothpick so

Lurch has both a mother and a father and at least one of them built him

Wednesday was once stalked by a cat

At one point the Family had to hold a seance to bring Pugsley back to their plane of existence but stopped halfway through to play Charades with Thing

Morticia’s Mother was the Wicked Witch of the West

Grandmama had a brother named Jester who liked to play pranks

Gomez can be hypnotized by the sound of a bugle

Fester somehow had a baby with the Moon

Pugsley once wanted a job at the bank so he tunneled into their vaults and started counting money for them

The Addams Family have actually met the Scooby Doo Gang; they housekept for them while Gomez and Morticia were on another honeymoon

Speaking of which they canonically have had at least 32 honeymoons

They also banged during a hurricane definitely more than once

Grandmama has a Drug Cart

Wednesday taught Lurch how to dance at least twice

The Addams Family have an Alligator that has changed genders at least once and though that was probably more of a continuity error than anything I don’t care I love the Genderfluid Alligator™

Pugsley knows how to drive

At one point Gomez was voiced by Scrappy Doo

When Pugsley turns “Normal” he becomes an Underwear Intern

Wednesday has set fire to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and also a Camp but we all knew about that

Grandmama ran a Psychic Hotline

There’s a very good chance that Pugsley hatched out of something

Wednesday once had a crush on a boy so she tried to guillotine him

MORTICIA AND GOMEZ HAD TWO MORE CHILDREN AFTER WEDNESDAY AND PUGSLEY AND NAMED THEM WEDNESDAY II AND PUGSLEY II

EDIT: Since for some reason y’all like this post here’s a version that has sources.

EDIT: FUCKING FINE