TAX EVASION FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

I need to collect one who uses he/him pronouns, one I don't know very well, one who's slutty, and one who's really funny.

Am I breathing?

Have I blinked?

Are my feet touching the floor?

Am I touching something typically fatal or painful?

Have I damaged the environment in some unexpected way?

Am I responding to sensory input not available to humans?

Oh … I’m not breathing…

Have some opening action scene where Superman shows up to stop crime and the robbers try to run him over at top speed.

Obviously it doesn’t work and Clark stops the car - wrecking it a bit and stunning the criminals inside but not harming them.

Then the scene repeats much later but this time Clark is distracted, stunned or suffering some phlebotinum effects - anything that causes him to not react.

So much of what he does, both as Clark AND and Superman, is for other people’s comfort.

The way he tilts his head to show he’s hearing something you can’t.

The way he dresses for weather he can’t feel.

The way his glasses obscure the too-intense blueness of his eyes.

The way he lifts his feet over cracks, and ducks under overhangs.

The way he eventually purchases oven mitts and other protective gear to wear before touching dangerous substances.

The way he leans into blows so people don’t shatter their hands.

The way he tries to only respond to words and tone, rather than heartbeat, increased/decreased sweating, breathing changes, ‘inaudible’ mumbles, and all the other things people don’t know they’re communicating.

A Clark that forgets to do those things is fascinating to observe.

(I’d also love to see more of various Karas and Kon dealing with similar things, because their perspectives are all so different.

Kara grew up without powers, but not around humans, and so her blind spots would be really different.

If we go canon there is plenty of cases when Clark X-ray scans people around him and tells them to look into potential problems( ie. in a comic he tells Jim Gordon he should quit smoking)

One I always like to use in my own AU: kryptonians can detect electric signals well enough to feel all living things(animals, plants, fish, insects), electronics/machines, changes in weather and the earth’s own electromagnetic field, from up to 500 kilometres away.

Because this is just one of their regular senses, it doesn’t weaken or go away if their powers are compromised (suffering from Kryptonite, under a red sun erc) Because they can feel the earth’s electromagnetic field, they also, coincidentally, always know exactly where they are.

So. Imagine the Us Government or something has arrested superman in like, his first year superhero-ing and as they’re trying to transport him to a secure location to Question/study him for his powers, all of a sudden he just goes:

“oh hey, We’re already past the us-canada border. Another 50 miles to go, right?”

“…how did you guess that ?”

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.

“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”

Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.