I Didn’t Make Rent But At Least I Made Lunch

they should have leftist infighting as an event at the next olympics

no the fuck they shouldn't and it's liberals like you that are tearing us apart

holy shit, a gold medalist

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

Let's see, I deliberately take an EXTRA LONG drive home from the bar so I can sober up and only hit 2 (PARKED) cars & I'm forced to spend the night in jail - meanwhile, guess who was FREELY walking the streets that very same night? That's right, Ned the Cancelled Try Guy. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Dont forget the child in the manger had to flee with his unwed mother and her boyfriend to another country. As a refugee.

Look up “Jose y Maria” by Everett Patterson

It's funny having a very high tolerance for pain but a very low tolerance for other forms of discomfort. Like yea tattoos piercings cramps shots cuts bruises whatever thats nothing. But I better not get nauseous or hear a loud sound. Or I'll die

not to sound like the joker but im not fucking around when i say weird al covering killing in the name completely seriously and not changing any of the lyrics at all is a very scary statement about society rn......... a man who built his entire career on whimsy and being sort of family-friendly doing a sincere rendition of killing in the name by rage against the machine. we've awoken Serious Alfred. we're so fucked.

Technically most moss is outside the international space station

yknow when you can tell that someones opinion on the homeless is dictacted by the fact they seem to imagine every homeless person just like. spawned in the back alleys of a city as a fully grown scruffy hobo with no life goals other than scrounging enough pocket change for a hit of Drugs™ . like you suggest that perhaps a homeless person was not always homeless and probably had a life and a childhood like the rest of us and they blank like they genuinely didnt consider it. like they forgot thats a human being too.

Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖

there's a delicate balance between "seeing something on my dash so often i end up caring about it unexpectedly" and "seeing something on my dash so often that it gets added to the blocked list with extreme prejudice"