A Humble Offering

He Was Made For Untidy Rooms and Rumpled Beds

Creator: Bluethursday

I Wish You Were My Husband

Creator: Feynite

AU based on The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (familiarity with that story's not required).

in a manner of speaking

Creator: likearecord

In Andrew's defense, blind dates are terrible and almost all of Kevin's friends are even worse.

Nine times out of ten, calling in a favor to get Aaron to switch and tank it for him would be fine.

In My Defense, I Have None

Creator: likearecord

Jean asks for a favor. Neil finds himself at the center of a territorial squabble. It's him. He's the territory.

-

“But why me?”

“You are my only good option. Aaron is straight. Andrew is rabid. Allison and Seth are on and off so often it’s impossible to keep track. Dan and Matt are a couple and getting them both to agree to pretend to date me would be harder. Renee doesn’t like men. Katelyn is lovely but Aaron would be angry. I don’t know which of the others started or stopped dating over the summer. That leaves you."

“What about Kevin?”

Jean scoffs. “You cannot be serious.”

“He’s…” What is Kevin? Not any better at telling Riko ‘no’ than Jean is, and, subsequently, probably not great at lying to him. Also, is it really believable that Kevin would jeopardize the team and their athletic careers by shitting where he eats? Probably not. Kevin’s amended hierarchy of needs just has the word EXY at the base. Somewhere far above that are pedestrian concerns like ‘food’ and ‘water’ and ‘shelter.’

Ilya Rozanov vs The Unintended Consequences of Woke Hockey

Creator: Sagebrner

Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)

So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...

It's actually with even more gay

...

You're a goddamn genius.

----

The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

cerulean

Creator: neostar

“I don’t know Hayd, he’s been really nice to me,” he shrugs, “We have stuff in common, it’s always fun to hang with him, and he even does my econ assignments without me asking, which I still think is over the top but–”

“Ilya Rozanov does your what?”

5 times rumours circled around the pitt + 1 time they told the truth

Creator: stardazedfeelings

“You said Dennis blackmailed you into marriage."

"It was a hyperbole."

"You called him your ex-wife!"

Dennis shrugs.

"Spiritually."

Creator:Selective_attention

Series Updated:2026-06-05

Works: 5 | Complete: No

After deciding to be less intense about guarding their relationship, Jane joins the Centaurs WAG Group Chat.

SELENA: Don't tell Nick I said that

CASSIE: This is the super secret wag space nothing leaves this chat without express permission 🤞

LISA: 🤞

CAITLIN: 🤞🤞

NICOLE: Sisterhood of the traveling puck 🤞

one day i'll watch as you're leaving (and life will lose all its meaning)

Creator: hollidayparty

“You want to talk to people about me?” Shane asked quietly.

There was something small and confused in the question. But Ilya was still furious and raw.

“Well I would,” he sneered, “if there was anything about you that was fucking interesting to talk about! It would be nice to not be so fucking bored and miserable!”

The second the words left his mouth, he watched the pain roll across Shane's features like a thousand fractures shattering through glass.

Ilya had seen Shane nearly break ribs. He had seen him miss game-winning shots, take hits that left bruises blooming purple and black across his skin. He had never seen this.

Shane closed his eyes for a long moment. He shook his head slightly, a tiny movement, then nodded once as if agreeing with something only he could hear. His face twisted briefly with a fresh wave of pain before he forced it to still.

---------

Gross

Creator: Anonymous

Steve blurts, “I want your sperm.”

The words echo off of the bathroom tile and Eddie is as still as a statue. Nobody moves. Steve feels the mortification rising swiftly like water in a well and he wishes that he could drown in it. It doesn't let him, gathering in his chest and his cheeks and making his entire being tremble with its scope and scale.

Eddie’s quiet for probably ten solid seconds, his face utterly blank and impassive as he processes this statement.

the other version of you

Creator: sweetlolixo

Wei Ying wakes up to a husband that isn’t… quite the husband he knows.

There is something slightly off about Lan Wangji—it comes through in the roughness of his touches, the desperation in his kisses, a fierce obsession in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Lan Wangji loves him like a man possessed, a madman clinging to his last shred of hope.

kotabear24

Summary:

Jeremy needs a trainer for his hyper and destructive dog, Penny. He picks the top-rated trainer in the area, Jean Moreau, for the job. The problem is that he's gorgeous, but and that he is very much Not An Option. Jean has worked hard to get where he is. He's pieced his life back together. He's got his brother, his friends, he's very successful and happy with his job, and he's got Toulouse. He doesn't need anything else. He certainly doesn't need an alpha.

(All I Need Is On) The Other Side of the Door

Creator: midwestmillie

“Unlock the door, Hollander.”

Even though Shane couldn’t hear the exact words, he knew what Ilya said. He shook his head.

“Unlock the door, or I will break the glass. Your choice.”

Shane’s eyes widened again and he briefly hung his head as if regretting all of his past life decisions, and Ilya heard the resounding click of the unlock mechanism.

He felt wild, his mind in violent turmoil as he threw open the door and his palm clutched the back of Shane’s head, his fingers finding purchase in the coarse hair. “Are you listening to me?” Shane ducked his head in acknowledgment. “I’m going to call off my driver. You will not move. I am going to sit there-“ he pointed at the empty passenger seat. “-in this boring car of yours and I am going to find out why the fuck you are alone and who the fuck made you cry.”

*************************************************************

without you, without them

Creator: scarlettroses

January 15, 2017

For immediate release.

(English version)

The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

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lift up your wedding dress someone was probably murdered in

Creator: 3x03

“We could run away, together,” Aerion interjected lowly, pressing his hand against the broad expanse of Duncan’s armoured chest. “Go to Dragonstone where we could mate, bind ourselves together through fire and blood as is tradition of House Targaryen.”

OR

Abolish private property

Creator: fonduebroski314 (anon_carrots)

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Haley

Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?

Shane

So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

-

Haley

screenshot.jpg

Wtf?

Katie

Is this guy fr???

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over/under

Creator: likearecord

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He’d thought Neil, with his smart mouth and his wild eyes, would be satisfied with what Andrew was offering. He guesses he’d thought Neil was used to living on scraps—and Andrew has never had anything meatier to give.