#extradirty
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One Nice Bug Per Day
Product Placement
DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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will byers stan first human second
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if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
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@lilacada
I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small childâs hand.
I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, âDonât you FUCKING dare,â so hard that I take psychic damage.
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Went to the queer student group's kickoff event this evening and met a person who brings an emotional support quail everywhere with her, which she held out excitedly after seeing me with Flapjack and insisted we get a picture of them together. I love humans.
Later in the evening they started handing out glowsticks and she came to me and said she thought Flapjack needed one so our birds could match.
are they in love or just kissing for fun
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Tasks that take 15 min but 3 hours if you include the agonies
David Cronenberg and Clive Barker
Who are the dudes holding them?
Stephen King and Jerry Seinfeld
Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but thereâs no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.
Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilboâs next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? Iâm not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.
Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like âMr Baggins⌠blease⌠itâs been 10 years⌠he was eleventy-one⌠can we fill out his death certificate yetâ and Frodo was like âabsolutely notâ.
Early on he genuinely couldnât bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrateâs office than anything else.
I raise you: the hobbitish bureaucracy has no means to re-declare someone dead. They had no precedent to declare someone who was once-dead dead again. They would need the Thain, the Mayor, and the Master of Buckland to agree to changing the statute, and since the Thain and the Master are too amused by the whole henclucking that they havenât gotten round to it just yet.
Iâm upping the stakes with: last time Bilbo was declared dead when he was, in fact, not dead, they removed the law stating that you can have someone declared dead without a body, so when Bilbo left (happily aware of this legal loophole and snickering) he could never become legally dead again.
I am loving the implication here that Bilbo can literally never die in the eyes of the law. Heâd love that.
a hobbit parent telling their kids the story of Mad Baggins and being like âthanks to a loophole in hobbit law heâs technically still alive todayâ
a hobbit child misinterprets this and lies awake at night worrying that Mad Baggins is still out there and will appear in their room without warningÂ
Alternatively: the laws for declaring somebody dead if theyâre missing for long enough are still in place, but the magistrates are just refusing to enforce them in this particular case.
After all, last time they declared Bilbo Baggins deadâ which involved filling out all the paperwork necessary to declare somebody dead without a bodyâ he had the rudeness to show up again, forcing them to do a lot more paperwork, and this time with an indignant Bilbo having a go at them while they did it.
As a result, the magistrates have decided that theyâre not going to declare Bilbo Baggins dead a second time unless they have a body, a coroners reprt explaining the cause of death, and a three day wake to make sure that he doesnât get up and walk away again.
Centuries later, hobbit parents tell their children that Mad Baggins is forever gone from the shireâ at least until the day when somebody is stupid enough to declare him legally dead, at which point legend states that he will immediately come marching back, demanding an explanation.
i love the implication that its considered rude in hobbit society to show up alive after being declared dead
Two hundred years later the inheritance drama over Bag End is still going strong. The Sackville-Bagginses insist that even if Bilbo isnât legally dead, heâs clearly abandoned the property; those responsible for overseeing the affair respond by pointing out that, as itâs well known that Bilbo Baggins could turn invisible, they canât be sure heâs not still in the building.
The definitive, epic discussion of Hobbit bureaucracy. :)
a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man
same guy came back yesterday. same order. i said, "ah, entering the shadowlands again, i see." he asked me to explain this remark to him. i did so to the best of my ability. he returned again today and said, "i'll have another shadowlands please, extra hot." think i might have started something
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Sans sweep was so powerful the residual shockwaves accidentally killed the fucking queen
An Update:
Also, happy Antifa mob anniversary
âsuffering feels religious if you do it rightâ no shut up it doesnât. my friends laughing in the kitchen while i make dinner feels religious. the sun on my face after a long winter feels religious.
somebody in the notes posted this screenshot from the one & only, ursula k let guin. and now i'm screaming wtf
honestly i think it's so funny when doctors are like. know the RISKS of taking T. you will have MOOD SWINGS and become a VIOLENT and UNCONTROLLABLE creature who HOWLS at the MOON. it will turn you GAY. like i hate to say it guys but youve just invented male hysteria
HISteria âď¸đŻ
[ID: A screenshot of a tiktok video by @mitochondrimommy. At the top it says "POV: you forgot to wear close toed shoes to lab." Pictured is the user's sandaled feet covered with nitrile gloves. The fingers of the gloves hang comicaly off of the sandals.]
Daily affirmations
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Shadow the Hedgehog Real-time Fandub was an experience
ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the trollsteineggje mountain in norway
