Hi, I'm a massive fuck up.

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

this pandemic will end and you’ll claim the window seat in your favorite cafe, stand in a crowd at a concert, visit a museum and make crappy art in the park. sometimes things feel like they’ll go on forever, sometimes bad things feel heavier than good things, sometimes life feels like it’s slowing down and all you’re doing is waiting for the full stop— but just because this hopelessness is all that you’re feeling right now, doesn’t mean that it’s all there is. there’s always more and you will experience that, and you will feel alive again.

I'm horny for, like, cuddles and winks and cooking dinner together and picking on each other and shit. I crave waking up beside some who loves me.

good fucking lord i would just like to spend so long walking around a museum that my feet hurt by the end of the day. maybe pop into the gift shop. grab a latte on the way home. jesus christ

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.