Where are you from ?

he doesn’t feel the sudden urge to focus enough to feel asa’s heart beating at the speed of light against the back of his hand because his own heart feels like it’s going to explode from his chest, the constant beating making its way to every hidden corner of his skull, making him dizzy but at ease. asa’s kiss turns out to be as soft as he imagined, even softer if that’s even possible, forcing him to decrease the speed of his own lips to let himself travel to another dimension where he doesn’t even care about what could happen around them because he’s so into him that everything else seems to be secondary and nothing but irrelevant. a soft smile appears on the corner of his mouth while listening to the gentle hum he’s making into his mouth, his own features softening at such gesture. he’s so soft and gentle and he doesn’t understand why is he so surprised about this when he knew there was no other way. but maybe his own question can be answered for the simple fact he never thought he was going to have the guts to kiss him until that very night, until his sudden touch caused butterflies to flutter inside his stomach and shivers to come up and down his spine like an expandable wave tracing a path through all of his nervous terminations. the hand that has been on his chest until now, leave its place to pull him even closer to him by pressing his lower back softly, his free hand twisting some locks of his hair while his petals deepen the kiss but it’s still in slow motion. he doesn’t want to go hard on him, he seems to be super fragile so he’s just going to try and make him as comfortable as he could possibly do. “asa,” he pulls away softly, keeping his nose brushing up against his as he tries to get back the oxygen he desperately needed some time ago. he’s about to say something, but his eyes stop at his lips, lightly swollen because of the recent kiss that it simply forces him to smile one again, tilting his head to a side to capture his lips once again.

jaewon isn’t exactly the kind of person who’s good at telling lies, not really. his body language speaks for himself when his own words seem to betray him, when he doesn’t seem to decide what to do and what to avoid and maybe, just maybe, ends up getting on sasha’s nerves knowing he doesn’t seem to be the most stable person on earth. and he’s been doing some many mistakes since he got there at that time of the night, realizing that maybe he’s already regretting coming here in the first place. it’s not like he’s surprised, to be honest. he struggles on a daily basis for not knowing how to approach people properly because he’s always making mistakes, always saying things that aren’t supposed to be said or making others uncomfortable like he genuily thinks he’s doing right now. his lips open just a little to mumble an apology, but nothing comes from his mouth when he realizes sasha is probably going to reject his words and his actions, again. so he simply places his head on the pillow, looking at the other while he climbs on the mattress and pulls the blanket up around his chest. “you can come closer if you want, it’s cold and i don’t want us to get sick.” he mumbles softly, but he regrets his words as soon as they escape from his lips. is he crossing a line? yes, probably. is he going to reject him again? most definitely. yet, anyways, he opens up his arms in his directiton, knowing he’s probably making a fool out of himself. once again.

of course jonsoo is pretty much awared of the effect he seems to have on asa, yet this is rather unexpected. knowing him for the one barely making any sounds at night, the one who never really bothered him, this is nothing but a surprise. asa’s hand is curling in his own shirt, forcing him to curve his lips into a soft smile because apparently, he wants this as much as he does. and it’s so frightening because he never thought he could feel this way towards him. and it’s scaring him so much because he knows this seems to be a field full of mines where every step is a risky one, where a simple touch, a simple action can make him feel like he’s making the biggest mistake out there. because to his eyes, asa is the purest being out there, the one person that deserves the world and even though he hasn’t done anything yet, he knows he’s going to ruin him without really wanting it. “are you sure? you’re not going to push me away?” he asks softly, his lips brushing up against his, his thumb gently caressing the back of his neck. genty, softly. but he doesn’t seem to want to wait any longer, this is making him incredibly anxious and truth be told, jonsoo didn’t know he could feel this way, this excited yet scared at the same time. so he finally dares to destroy the distance between their lips, letting his own petals to press against his. his movements are almost in slow motion, a gentle smile on his face when he finally gets to kiss him. unconsciously, he pulls the younger boy even closer to him, his free hand letting go of the back of his neck so it traces a path over his chest, stopping at where his heart is located. hoping, wondering if it’s beating as fast as his own.

he shouldn’t be this surprised because at this point, it’s not like he knows everything. actually, he’s completely clueless about what’s going on sasha’s mind so of course things like these were meant to happen. still, there’s some sort of disappointment on his features, pressing his lips together as he starts biting the inside of his cheek, sudden anxiety going up and down his spine like it’s some sort of shiver that doesn’t seem to let him go that easily. but, at his next words he freezes, tilting his head to a side like he’s trying to understand, like he misheard his words because this doesn’t seem sasha at all. at least, not the one he remembers. he’s tried so hard to offer some help but even though he always thought his help was unappreciated and a waste of time, now it seems to be the complete opposite. “are you s-serious?” he asks softly, looking at him like he’s trying to figure out if his words are genuine. “but, yes, i can sleep with you. i don’t want you to feel alone, sasha. i’m here, you have me.” he says in a whisper, nodding softly at his own words before climbing on the mattress and patting the free spot next to him. “come on, you need to rest. that’s okay, sasha. you’re going to be okay. i promise.”

jonsoo is not used to feel this vulnerable around others, not really. and certainly, not around asa. for quite some time, he used to know he was the one making the other uncomfortable and even though there’s a part of him still thinking that way, this time seems to be quite different. “i don’t think this is actually something you could promise.” it’s cute he thinks he can do it, though. “because you don’t know what i’m going to say. yet.” he’s probably making the other anxious by now, but he doesn’t seem to realize that just now. “i just…” he takes a deep breath, his thumbs caressing asa’s cheeks first, then drawing paths across his jawline as he stops on his neck, fingertips forming small circles against his soft skin. “asa, you…” he frowns at his own words, feeling the urge to regret everything and just walk away because there’s a part of him thinking he’s not capable of doing this. “i mean, you and me.” he’s rambling, one of his hands reaching the younger’s cheek so he can pull him even closer to him. without knowing it, he has decreased the distance between them to the point their closeness is nothing but dangerous, yet he doesn’t feel uncomfortable but the exact opposite. softly, he lets his nose to collide with his, his lips almost brushing up against asa’s. “i didn’t mean to scare you before, asa. but i r-really want to kiss you right now.” he looks up, softly chewing on his lesser lip as he awaits for some permission. but he’s pretty sure he’s going to be rejected at this point. and god knows how much he’s hating himself just now, he should’ve never approach him like this.

jaewon knows he’s being pretty useless now and to be honest, he could be doing so much if only sasha could tell him what’s really going on in his mind, what is he so afraid of, what is bothering him, what does he need. “it’s fine, don’t need to thank me.” he shrugs his shoulders softly, a weak smile curving his lips as he looks at him. his question catches him off guard because he hasn’t thought about this, until now. “uh, well, here?” he looks at his own bed and then his sight is back to him. scratching the back of his neck, he starts chewing on his leeser lip because he has to figure out where he could sleep now. “i’m having the couch, dont’ worry. and please, don’t argue. i’m pretty sure you need these hours of sleep more than i do anyways.” jaewon presses his lips together, starting to adjust his own pillows so sasha could be comfortable. “here, i got a new mattress a couple of weeks ago so you’re going to be fine. and if you need me, i’m going to be just a couple of steps from you.” he offers a weak smile, not being able to face him for more than three seconds. “do you need anything else?”