eatin a fishies

Aux: I’m taking a look at your numbers, and it doesn’t look good. You have a lot of measurements. Quite a few variables.  Nomad: Is that… bad?  Aux: Variables are the #1 risk factor for outcomes. The past is a big contributor to the future.  Nomad: Isn’t that just causality?  Aux: Causality is the leading cause of death in this country.  Nomad: So what are my odds?  Aux: Do you have a family history?  Nomad: Of what?  Aux: Just, in general.  Nomad: …Yes?  Aux: Oh no.

agnostic baseball player: "nobody knows where that baby came from"

I've been writing a fanfic for a while but I started rereading moby dick recently and upon rereading my fic u can tell exactly when I did

I want a murderbot novella about a starlet on the entertainment feed who is being violently threatened by a coorperation for reasons. And suddenly a strange SecUnit appears and saves her. And it risks its own life and safety to keep her alive. And she's like "Why are you doing so much for me when I dont even know you?" And the SecUnit is like "You need to be alive to film the next season of World Hoppers for me and my friend."

Rereading all systems red and the first 2 chapters are strong contenders for funniest intro to a book series. Jumping straight to action, and mb is giving us absolutely no info about anything. Who are those people? Some weird hippies it's not important. Why are they here? Mb does not give a shit. What is this planet? Fuck if it knows. Here is a small paragraph that fucking states everyone's relationship status like a wiki article that we are never gonna get back to. Ugh there are hostiles that keep us away from our media #our media.

we saw you from across the bar and you looked really anxious. can you tell us five things you can see, four things you can hear. okay good, we’re glad you’re okay. do you wanna come home with us and have a threesome?

girl who's not asexual but harbors a deep-set belief that sex is inherently unethical if she's the one doing it

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

I could fix moash 😏🫦🥵🔥 *completely rewrites the last two books*

Reblog with how you'd fix Moash

(trying to cheer you on) hey, lets grab this thing by the (remembers youre neutered) nothing

helpful tattoo reminder: they are technically Injuries so u have to eat a lot of calories drink a lot of water and sleep a lot after so your body can Heal The Injury

another helpful tattoo reminder: the 24-48 hours after you get a tattoo your brain can not be trusted in regards to whether or not you should have gotten that tattoo, if you have somehow ruined your life, if it turned out ugly, etc. ignore that

finally, while i am at it: always bring a candy bar and a sugary drink to your appointment for blood-sugar reasons (worst case scenario) or so you can have a treat (unilaterally applicable)

My wife can unwrap an ice cream sandwich with her penis