trash

If I wasn’t so sleepy you’d all be soo fucked

Just sleep

There’s no fucking way that works

how does it feel to be the funniest person on earth

to whom am I squeaking

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

But without cave divers, who would rescue all the stuck cave divers?

Every cave dive rescue operation involves a second, even more stuck cave diver.

Pangaea was wasted on the dinosaurs. Imagine the railway network.

sometimes you'll see a bird for the first time and when you look it up you learn that its name is the Common Dirt Bitch and its range is Everywhere and there are 400 million of them in your state alone

I don't know what I love more: Sophie having the cheek the nerve the gall the audacity and the gumption to basically tell Benedict "You make me too horny, you must leave your own house" OR Benedict responding with "You're absolutely right and I am so sorry, I'll go pack my shit"

One thing I find very funny about Maomao is that she never refuses a present. She’s very aware of her status compared to the nobles, but the moment they offer her something, she doesn’t even bother with a courtesy refusal, she just takes it. Even if it’s not something she likes, she’ll still find a way to make money off it.