Lost at Sea

The Art Institute of Chicago, was a site that Silas quite enjoyed to stroll when he had the time. Every time he visited the museum the older gentleman found something new about a piece of art that always brought him such fascination. Though today, he was finally getting around to visiting the exhibit of Andy Warhol’s work that had been in the museum since October, and would be there until January. Silas was currently admiring Warhol’s piece on Marilyn Monroe, the colors truly popped, and it only made sense that the piece was one of the most iconic art pieces in pop culture. Warhol had truly been a genius in the field of art, and it had truly been a shame that the world was robbed of his splendor too soon. 

Turning to the person standing next to him, Silas nodded towards the painting. “What do you think of it? Is it any good in your eyes?” 

Even though Ocean wasn’t exactly artsy like the rest of his family, he still had a great appreciation for the arts themselves.  It always amazed him when people had this kind of talent because he himself did not.  Since he’d moved to Chicago, Ocean had come to the art museum a few times, always amazed at what these artists were able to do.  It made Ocean wish he had talent like that, like his siblings and parents, and it also made him feel simultaneously close to them and homesick, which was a strange feeling.

“I dunno, staying in probably is smarter” he admitted. “But we have to do something fun if we’re staying in. If I have to just sit and watch TV for another day I’ll be sad, okay?” he nodded at the other. “Thanks for the soup” he added quietly.

Elliot hadn’t been feeling well for the last few days and he was pretty sure he had come down with some sort of flu. “I know I look gross but I just couldn’t sit in bed for another day. Let’s do something, please? I’ll go insane if I don’t do something” he looked hopefully at the other. 

“Is that so?” Nev coos as he just smiles across at Ocean. “Woah.. no, my pie is the main event I just like to add a little bonus too it. Have I told you that I love sweets because I love sweets and all this just makes them even better.” He hums. “It’s very good. I’m impressed and grateful that you spent your time baking these.” He gave the dogs a bite of his pie, scratching the tops of their heads. “You’ll have to come with me to the dog park sometime.” He questioned. When he sat there on the edge of the couch, peering up at Ocean. The man reached out and gently pulled the boy towards him. “I’m sure.” he murmurs.

“You do not sound very proud to be a doctor,” Franklin observed with concern, “however, I would be proud of you. In fact– I am proud of you! That is some hard work! I can hardly do math at all.” He shook his head. “I can appreciate the scientists and all, but I certainly cannot relate to them.” Once they arrived at the store, Franklin was quick to grad the door handle and pull it open and to the side so that Ocean could pass through before he followed him in.

He smiled when the younger man had hugged him, reaching out to brush fingers through those soft brunette locks. “Mine too,” Nevada agrees. If there was a part of him that felt wrong for having such feelings for a man this young, it was true. He hadn’t dated anyone younger than twenty-five, and here he was catching feelings for a nineteen-year-old. He was scared because of his history of dating. 

“You caught me red-handed,” Nevada chuckled when Ocean said he was scrunching his nose more on purpose. “I think we slept off calories just to make just enough room for two slices of pie. It didn’t go unnoticed when seeing that the boy didn’t dress the pie in whip cream or ice cream. “I see why you forgot the whip cream,” he teases. It wasn’t long before he had polished off the pies. Nevada had got up to start dividing the leftovers into containers, having forgotten to do so before their nap. “There’s plenty here for you to take back to the dorms with you.” He placed them in the fridged before stifling a yawn and sauntering over to the couch. 

Everything about the affection they showed each other felt, well, sort of special to Ocean, like something beyond what normal friends did.  It was amazing to him that he had only known Nevada for a short time because it felt much longer.  As they sat there hugging, Ocean closed his eyes, his face against Nevada’s neck, just enjoying the closeness; he felt like he could stay like this for hours, especially when Nevada brushed his fingers through his hair, which sent pleasant shivers down Ocean’s spine.  To him, it wasn’t really a consideration that they were so far apart in age (15 years to be exact).  It wasn’t about a person’s age.  They connected on a deeper level, and that was all that mattered to Ocean.

His depression was still something he struggled with today, and Nevada didn’t want to have to take pills in order to feel happy or sane for once. There were good days and bad days but the good outweighed the bad, then there were people like Ocean– who brightened up his life. There were many reasons for him to keep smiling, his dogs and all the children that he taught. “I’m glad I didn’t either,” he gave a small smile to Ocean. The man paused and just searched the boys’ eyes. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “ I like you too.” 

He dished himself up a slice of each pie, dolloping whip cream onto the pumpkin and a scoop of ice cream for the apple. The man hummed with excitement as he waved his fork. “Of course, I want one too but only if you want to.” He assured. The older man couldn’t help but grin when Ocean walked over and kissed his cheek. “Much better. I don’t feel left out now,” he scrunches his nose before turning back to the plate of pie. He takes a bite of pumpkin first, quirking a brow at the taste. He takes a second bite of the apple, and hums loudly. “These–” he starts to say as he takes another bite. “Are fucking delicious, Ocean.”

It wasn’t just the fact that Nevada had gone through so much, had felt as low as Ocean sometimes did, had struggled with just getting through each day (which was something Ocean could relate to).  It wasn’t just all that that made Ocean feel this sudden surge of affection for his friend.  No, it was also the fact that Nevada had trusted him enough to confide in him like this, and after Nev said that he liked Ocean too, the younger man didn’t even say anything before hugging him again.  He really liked doing that, he realized then, and Ocean held the hug for several seconds, his face against Nevada’s neck.  “This is my favorite Thanksgiving in awhile,” Ocean told Nevada then.

He glanced at Ocean when the boy sat down next to him. Nevada exhaled slowly when the brunette asked him what he meant. “I’ve struggled with depression most of my life and when I was twenty-five.. I was at a pretty hardship in life. Everything felt like a waste and that there was really no point for me. I was twenty-five and still had no clue what I wanted to do. It happened after a pretty bad break up– I had been dating this guy for the last eight months. We were going to move in together and then.. he just up and leaves. I had boxes packed, ready to move and he just left.” He shook his head. “It was then that I decided to hike the PCT, and it was there hiking up in the mountains that I contemplated killing myself. That I could just step off the side of the mountain,” Nevada grows quiet, watching Ocean press at the monotone keys. “I didn’t.. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Being up there on the trail for the five months by myself. It was terrifying being alone with my thoughts but it was also eye-opening… because I got to be myself for myself and not for anybody else. I didn’t do it because there was music. Music I would miss out on, and music that others needed to know about.”

Nevada wished he could make it go away, make it all better for Ocean. He smiled when the boy squeezed his hand as he squeezed it in return. There was a feeling in him that he wanted to feel more, something about wanting to be more to Ocean. Surely, Ocean had felt it too. “That looks fucking delicious,” he coos when stepping into the kitchen. Nevada watches Ocean interact with the two dogs. “What about me?” he teases when the boys had kissed the dogs heads.

As he listened to Nevada talk about what he had gone through, Ocean felt heartbroken knowing someone as amazing as Nevada had felt that way.  But he knew those thoughts didn’t discriminate - anyone from all walks of life could feel that way.  Even so, Ocean wished he could have taken that pain away from Nevada, even if it was just past pain now.  “I’m glad you didn’t do it,” he said quietly, scooting down the piano bench closer to Nevada, their shoulders touching now.  “I’m glad you’re here.  Really glad.  And I know your students are too.”  Then he added, “And you don’t ever have to be anyone else for me.  Just be you because I like you.”  He locked eyes with Nevada, wishing he could convey all the things he was feeling in this moment.

It made sense to Henrik that the stranger wasn’t blindly accepting a cupcake from him because he could be up to anything. He wasn’t, of course, because Henrik wasn’t the type to do that to somebody, but other people were. As sad and oblivious as Henrik could be, he wasn’t stupid. “Yes, I am very sure,” he whispered, crossing his arms over his chest once the box was taken from his hand. His appetite was completely gone and it was just a waste to keep the cupcake for himself on the off chance that he was going to want it later. Henrik couldn’t imagine wanting it later. “I do not want it. I am not going to eat it so you can, or you can throw it out and it would turn out the same way in my hands.”

Nevada stepped inside the room just behind the brunette. He was grinning now like a child on Christmas day when hearing Ocean’s comment.  “I don’t find anything wrong with that,” the musician stated. “You’re welcome to come here any time that you want. My studio is open to many– well, just you as of now.” He teases. The older man moves to sit at the small grand piano, pecking at one of the keys. “That’s the same for me. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for music,” he speaks softly. 

“Hey,” Nevada sat up now, reaching out to gently take the boys’ chin between his fingers as he made Ocean look at him. “Don’t ever think like that. Don’t let his words get to you, not after all that time. Not now,” he whispers softly. The older man slowly stood up, stifling a yawn as he stretched out. “How about you get the pies ready. I’m going to take the dogs out– there’s whip cream in the fridge and ice cream in the freezer if you want it for the apple pie.” He paused, peering back at the boy. “Yes, we certainly can.” Nevada leans down and pecks a kiss to the boys’ cheek before whistling for the dogs who gathered eagerly by the front door. He was gone for no more than ten minutes when returning.

Even though his back was still to Nevada, Ocean smiled when he said it wasn’t a bad thing that he was liking Nev more.  “Just me,” Ocean repeated, facing Nevada again and still smiling, which seemed to be his default with Nevada.  “I like that.  I know that you’re going to probably let other people come here too soon enough, but I...like that right now it’s just me.  And you too, of course.”  Right now it felt like their space, and while he knew it was temporary, Ocean liked that for now it was just for them.  He moved to sit down next to Nevada at the piano, pressing a few keys.  “What do you mean?” Ocean asked.  Then he said, “Sorry, that was kind of personal.  You don’t have to tell me.”

He quirked a brow, grinning brightly at the young boy. “Well, you’ve come ot the right place!” Nevada crooned. “You just happen to know one of the best guitar players on this whole block,” he scrunches up his nose. “I do.” The older man straightened as he gestured for the boy to follow, guiding down the hallway to the first room on the left. He opened the door to reveal a music studio, there was equipment for recording, many different stringed and brass instruments, an electric piano, a mini grand piano– there was even a small kids cat piano hanging up on the wall. “This– all of this is my pride of joy.” 

The man frowned when hearing Ocean start to explain about his ex. Part of him felt furious that someone would do this to the boy. “How could someone do that to you,” Nevada shakes his head. “I’m sorry you went through that. No one deserves that.” The older man had his fair share of shitty ending in relationships but never nothing like Ocean had been through, between getting ghosted three times in a row and his last, getting cheated on. Nevada felt like there wasn’t much like in relationships and that maybe there was something wrong with him. “This is okay,” he nodded when the boy was lying against him again. “–but I’m going to protest because I am craving a slice of pie.” 

Although they had talked a lot during their hike and Ocean knew Nevada was a music teacher, somehow it had never come up that they both played guitar.  It was quite a surprise to Ocean, but a good one, and it made him feel even more connected to the other man.  “Really?” he asked, grinning at Nev.  “That’s so cool.  It’s something we have in common.”  Nevada did that nose scrunching thing again, and Ocean felt that fluttery feeling in his stomach again, his already bright smile absolutely beaming now.  Why did Nevada make him feel like this, and so strongly too?  He thought he knew, but Ocean wouldn’t let himself think that because he thought it was probably pointless.  There was no way he gave that same feeling to Nevada.  They walked together down the hall, and Ocean felt his eyes widen at the sight of his music studio.  “This is amazing,” Ocean said, stepping inside in an almost reverent awe.  “This might be one of my favorite rooms ever,” he said, turning back to Nevada with another smile on his face.  “You just keep making me like you even more.”  Ocean couldn’t believe he said that, so he turned away again to look at the instruments.  “Everyone at the commune is drawn to the arts, but for me the only thing like that I ever connected with was music.”

Another birthday alone and Henrik shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurt. He figured he would at least have plans with Eli since they lived in the same city now, but they weren’t talking anymore and his heart hurt all the time. How could it not? Today was a mess, his life was a mess, and Henrik had dragged himself down to Leo’s bakery for a cupcake, but now that he was sitting alone on a bench with it in his lap, he didn’t want it any more. The little box still had a sticker on it indicating it hadn’t been opened, and Henrik held it out for the person next to him. “Would you like? It’s red velvet.”

Nevada shook his head, grinning as he peered across at the brunette. “I know.. I know what you meant and I would like that.” He reached out this time, fingers grazing over those pink cheeks before gently flicking a finger playfully over the tip of his nose. “You collect guitar picks? That means you play guitar–” He quirked a brow. “How come I don’t know about this?” He teases. “I guess you could say I collect guitar pick but not intentionally.,” Nevada chuckled.

His gazed soften when listening to Ocean, brows furrowing. “Why– all of it is true. There’s so much more I could say about you,” Nevada murmured. “You deserve to have someone be sweet on you.” The older man smiled softly as he listened to Ocean. “I used to watch the Hallmark all the time with my grandma. I still do when going back to visit. It would be nice if things worked out like that.”  Nev had nearly fallen asleep again when the boy had shot up quickly. It startled him as he propped himself up on an elbow. “Hey– hey, you don’t need to apologize. I fell asleep too. There.. There was nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong.” He assured, reaching out to take the boys’ hand. 

Ocean closed his eyes when Nevada reached for him, when his fingers brushed against his cheeks, though he opened them Nev flicked the tip of his nose, a bright smile on his face as he laughed.  “I would like it too,” he said softly.  “A lot.”  So far Ocean felt more connected to Nevada than anyone else he had met here, by a lot even, and the more time he could spend with the man, the better.  Nodding, Ocean grinned and confirmed, “I play guitar.  I guess I never brought it up.  I’m not that good, but I’m okay at it.  I wish I were better.”  Really Ocean was just being hard on himself - he was pretty good, but he’d never admit that.  “Do you...do you like that I play?” Ocean asked because he was getting that kind of vibe.  “How do you collect guitar picks unintentionally?” Ocean questioned.

He smiled fondly across at the brunette, glad that Ocean wanted to spend time with him. “It’s about eating it when it’s finished,” Nevada teased the boy. He liked seeing the other all flustered. “I do, usually from every place that I have been to. There’s still a box that I never unpacked when moving here.” He chuckled softly. “It’s a problem. I have no room for them,” he muses. “There’s even a few at work. One’s my coffee cup and a few I used for pen holders.”

Nevada pauses, peering down at that smile. The older man gave a shrug, “I don’t know but I better keep it up. You have a beautiful smile, Ocean. It’s very warming,” he added. When comfortable on the couch, Nevada had turned it from the came to a hallmark movie. He yawned in return after hearing the boy, moving to make himself comfortable and lifting his arm only to wrap it around Ocean’s shoulders as the boy leaned into his side. It wasn’t like before his eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off to sleep. Nevada wasn’t too sure how long they had been asleep for, but he woke up to be completely stretched out as Ocean was laying on his chest tucked under one of the man’s arms. He couldn't’ help but smile and despite the urge to get up and have a piece of the pie, Nevada stayed until Ocean woke up.

Laughing at the other man’s comment, Ocean admitted, “Well yeah, but that’s not what I meant.”  He looked at Nevada and decided to stop being coy.  “I really meant that it was about...about us spending time together,” he confessed, suddenly self-conscious, cheeks red.  Already he was finding his time together to be the highlight of his week (and month even if he were being honest), and he wanted more of it.  Ocean listened to what Nevada said about his mugs, and Ocean said, “I like that you collect mugs.  You’ll have to show me your favorites sometime.”  Then he told Nev, “I collect guitar pics.  I use most of them too, though a couple of my favorites I don’t so they don’t get damaged or lost.”

Why was the younger man so fucking cute? Nevada wanted to tease him more when seeing that blush but rather, he just grinned like a fool. “I would like that actually,” he said in response. “I find baking very therapeutic even though I suck at it,” he chuckled. “Just recently I took some cooking classes, and they’re paying off or, at least, I think so.” It only made him scrunch his nose more when Ocean said that he liked it. The man wanted to go and tease Ocean just to see how much he could make the other blush, call him cute names. “I like mine with milk. It tastes better,” he went back to the fridge for a jug of milk. When he had the glasses poured and in the microwave heating up. It didn’t take long for him to whisk in the powder mix as he handed over the coffee mug to Ocean. One thing that Nev liked to collect were coffee mugs from all his travels.

He let the younger man reach for his hand and guide him towards the couch. Nevada instantly frowned when seeing Ocean’s smile falter. “Hey,” he spoke softly. “You don’t have to be sorry. I was only teasing, and I have whip cream in the fridge. It’s no big deal at all,” Nev assured, reaching out to gently brush a thumb over the boy’s cheek.  “Come on,” he sat down and pulled the brunette down next to him. “Let’s rest. I could actually go for a nap after eating that turkey.” 

If Ocean knew what Nevada was thinking about him, he would have been smiling even more, not that that was really possible.  So Ocean just grinned back, especially when Nev said that he would want to bake pie with him.  “It’s okay if you’re not the best at it,” Ocean reassured him.  “I’m alright at baking, so we’ll get through it.”  Then he added with a shy smile, “And it’s...not really about baking the pie, you know?”  It was about spending time together; that’s what Ocean wanted the most.  He saw Nevada scrunch his nose again, and Ocean felt like he literally swooned, though he hoped that he didn’t really show how much he liked when Nevada did that.  But man, it was so cute.  When he made Ocean hot chocolate, the younger man noticed all his mugs, and he commented, “Wow, you have a lot of those.  Do you collect them?”  Ocean thought that was cute too.

“Exactly! There’s no such thing as too much pie,” He crooned. “Strawberry is one of my favorites too. Actually, I’m just a fan of all the sweets. That and Thai food,” Nevada mused. The pie shop was where he had met one of his best friends to this day, and who he’s the godfather to their children. “Now you know, and you can show up anytime to my place with pie. Just as long as you bring your cute self,” he teases, scrunching up his nose. Nevada pauses as he starts to reach for water, peering back over at Ocean. “I do have hot chocolate,” closing the fridge door as he moves to a cabinet. “Do you like yours with milk or water?” He asked curiously as he reached for the hot chocolate packets. “It’s Hershey’s hot cocoa. I think it tastes more chocolatey,” the man hums. 

Nevada remained focused on the game and shoveling food into his mouth. He would glance over at Ocean every so often, ask him how the food was and tease the boy more. The two dogs had stopped begging and went to nap for the evening. “I am stuffed,” he groaned as he leaned back into his seat. “That was delicious. I don’t think I can move, Ocean. You might have to roll me over to the couch,” he joked. “Plus, there’s pie. Goodness, I have no room. I’ll have to let this settle before I dig into that goodness over there. Speaking of which– I noticed you didn’t bring any whip cream. I chose not to stay anything right away, but don’t you worry. I always keep it on hand.” 

Still smiling his face off, Ocean joked, “Now I know the way to your heart.”  As soon as he said it, Ocean turned beet red, his face burning; that was definitely flirtier than he normally was, but then again, everything about his relationship with Nevada was bringing out a different side of him, a better side.  So with that in mind, he suggested, “Maybe we can make strawberry pie...together sometime.”  His voice shook a little as he said this, nerves getting the better of him.  Maybe he was reading the signs wrong, but then Nevada called him cute again, which both made Ocean feel better and also brought that fluttery feeling back into his stomach.  And Nevada was cute too, Ocean telling him, “I like that nose scrunchy thing you do.”  There was more he could have said, like how it was adorable and how it made Ocean want to hug him again (or maybe more).  But Ocean didn’t say any of that, just smiling back at Nevada.  Eyes wide, Ocean exclaimed, “You have hot chocolate?!  That’s great!”  He was beaming, and he told Nevada, “Hot chocolate is for me like pie is for you.  I love it.  I’ll take it however is easier.  If you don’t have much milk, I’ll take it with water.  I don’t mind either way.”  Nodding, Ocean agreed enthusiastically, “It really does make a difference.  No one ever understands that when I try to tell them.”