leo

like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.

Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.

Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.

he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.

it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.

Don Falcone: I dreamed of this day.

Selina:?

Don Falcone: You're a nice surprise and all kid. Can never have too many kids in a family and daughters, they're precious, ain't they? No, I'm talking about Bruce Wayne.

Selina: You're going to have to run that one by me.

Don Falcone: You two are already a thing. I mean, no pressure but he's a catch, you're a Falcone and... I always wanted to make sure that boy was taken care of. I wanted to make him family and we can do that now.

Selina: We?

Don Falcone: Well, you're my last chance, kid. Sofia doesn't like him or whatever and Alberto... He may be a little off to the side.

Alberto: Homosexual, dad.

Don Falcone: Yeah, yeah, that but Bruce likes the guys too so I tried to set that up but apparently they're both... Y'know. They play the same position on the field.

Alberto: *rolling his eyes*

Selina: And you want me to-?

Don Falcone, nodding: Yes, big big Italian wedding. We can do Lake Como. We will spare no expense. For every grandson, fifteen thousand, every granddaughter, ten or abouts. What do you say, gioia mia?